Beating Hearts Grow But Never Die
by JustAnotherObsession94
Summary: Ozai realizes in prison that after losing it all & being left to die he still loves Ursa & can't live w/o her. Ursa's intuition urges her back home still facing the dangers of banishment. Can they restore the past? Contains lies, love, violence & trust.
1. My Way Home is Through You

**Me: So, here's my new Ozursa/ Urzai story, hope ya'll like it!**

**Aang: Wait! Hey, am I even in this story! O_o**

**Me: *Checks notebook* No, I don't think so. Sorry Twinkletoes.**

**Aang: But...but...but-I'm the AVATAR! And only Toph can call me that!**

**Toph: It's true. But she's right. Just say the disclaimer already *punches Aang***

**Aang: Ow! Okay, fine. Taurus3rockergirl does not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, or any of the characters. That all goes to Mike and Bryan, who **_**at least mention**_** me in their story!**

**Me: Um, you are mentioned quite a few times in this...It's just you aren't **_**actually**_** in it.**

**Aang: Oh...okay =D**

**Katara: Okay, can we just let them read the story now? **

_**Ozai's Point of View**_

I cannot tell how long I have been imprisoned here. Nor do I really care because I know that I will never leave this wretched place, and I have begun to realize that even if I did leave, there would no longer be a place for me in this new era. I might as well be trapped here and not be able to do anything than be released to see everything and take no part in any of it. It was infuriating when I first got in here to know that all I could do was wait to die. But now I have come to the conclusion that my situation will never change for as long as I'm alive. In my captivity I have found that the only way to keep close to sanity is to occupy my mind, but never over the same subject for too long. It is so easy to linger on the brink of insanity, sometimes without even realizing it. In all my time in the prison I have noticed one subject creep back into my mind again and again like a recurring dream. Nothing matters anymore, but knowing that after all these years I can still see her so clearly somehow brings peace to my tormented mind.

I thought I'd have her out of my mind. I thought after she was gone, she would be dead to me. I thought that I wouldn't miss her, that I didn't still love her.  
I thought wrong.  
And it was only once I had been broken to mere nothingness in this cell that I could finally accept the reality. Before, I had refused to think much about her but now all those years of neglect have begun to catch up with me. Now I had no pretenses to hold me back. I couldn't hide behind my nationalism. I couldn't hide behind my blood, my father or my son.

I am bombarded by a billion "if only" statements that race through my thoughts. If only I wasn't so selfish. If only I wasn't so power hungry. If only there had been a different way. If only things could have occurred differently. If only my father had given a different alternative. If only...

I fell asleep drowning in the terrors of my imagination. Dreams of her death, her torture, her happiness without me, all that could have been, they all shattered my darkened heart with despair. I hated not knowing if she was alive and well. What ordeals and hardships had she had to struggle through? How much of it was my fault? How much pain had she gone through that I could have prevented? As if it wasn't enough to have everything taken from me by my son and his friends and be imprisoned for life; it was true torment to be alone with all of my morbid and gruesome thoughts.

One overly sentimental night I woke with a start, preparing a fire fist to save her from the doom of the dream, only to find my heart broken twice over when not even a spark shot from what would have been a powerful burst of flame. If she had been in any trouble and if I had been there, I still wouldn't have been able to protect her. I knew that I would never be with my angel, my love. Ursa. She was the sheath to my serrated soul. Ursa. She was the one reality I could hold on to in this forsaken world, but I would never hold her again.

Ursa's PoV

The long awaited Sozin's comet had finally passed and I had decided it was time for my life to change course once more. I had faced banishment from my nation for nearly seven long years. Everything I had done back then was to help my husband and save my son, but the consequence was banishment. To stay away from everyone I loved, forever. I know I need to be back home now more than ever. I can feel it in my soul and in my blood that I can no longer be away and that it has been past time to return. Just before I began my travels back to my homeland, one final nightmare was the last push my teetering judgement needed.

_I was looking in through a dark tunnel of vision. The place was dreary and smelled of corpses of vermin, maybe more. The dark and damp area seemed to be underground and I could guess at where my subconscious thoughts drifted. My sleeping pulse raced as I heard the patter of footsteps through the shallow puddles and mud. Two uniformed men carried a stretcher down the corridor and I could make out a figure, just barely veiled by a sheet. Hanging down from the stretcher I could see unkempt strands of long dark hair. Invisible and untouchable, I listened to the voices of the guards._

_"Damn shame to think 'bout."_

_"Yeah, he sure was a powerful firelord back in his day."_

_"Speakin of firelord, wonder how Firelord Zuko's gonna take it."_

_"Pshh, I dunno, don't think they were ever too close anyway."_

_"Yeah, he's probably gonna be glad he's gone."_

_The guards walked into a new room and I noticed a massive kiln, for bodies. They dumped the stretcher over, revealing the blood-covered, broken body of Ozai Kasanji, to be left there until further notice from his son to give the go ahead to burn him there or to give a more respectable end to. Even in sleep it felt real enough to raise bile in my throat. What happened next was still worse. His voice floated through my mind as if he had been standing just behind me._

_"Ursa," his voice called, "Forgive me" _

I woke up with sorrow in my heart and tears in my eyes, and I knew I could no longer be kept in the dark of the fate of my family.

The last embrace we shared haunts my skin. The last time I saw him etched his features into my heart. Maybe now that the war is over I can rekindle what we once shared, if I can just get back without meaningless ado, without being discovered as a banished person walking illegally on Fire Nation territory. I understand the risk of my trek; risk free is not my nature. My inner fire and determination drives me onward as I find my way back home.

I have traveled across Whale Tail Island, rode on three different ferries, walked across mountainous terrain, and traveled via an Earth Kingdom train in Ba Seng Se. It is here on this train that I think these thoughts and take note of my travels so far. It is here on this train that I rest my sore feet and weary body of a nearly penniless traveler. It is here on this train that exactly five months have passed since the comet. I say nearly penniless because I was able to save up enough money for a few traveling costs such as the train ride, necessary food and water supplies, and a bit more for emergencies, but it will not last me too much longer. Not so long ago I stopped at a charming abode belonging to a charming and helpful man named Gonzu and earned a little bit of extra money by helping him with his ill son, Lee, and taking care of his run down house.

I tuned in to snippets of the tour guide's overly sweet and robotic voice as we passed "The finest tea shop in all of Ba Seng Se, the Jasmine Dragon, founded by…" I diverted my attention from the…annoying voice of the guide as the fancy tea shop pulled me into memories of Iroh. I wondered how the jolly elder man was doing. I knew that he had probably been the one to most care for Zuko. He had probably begun to see him as his own after Lu Ten died. I wondered what had come of the child who had taken so after Ozai than me. I've heard many a rumor about Azula, but I can never be sure what happened to her. I'd hear things anywhere from going completely insane and being locked away at a mental institute to performing with the Ember Island Players. The former seems most likely, that poor girl. I was pulled away from my reverie as I noticed a growl-like sound come from my left. I perused an extremely paranoid looking man tending to an overflowing cart of cabbages. He held a few of the leafy green orbs securely in his arms giving side long glances in a frantic way every few seconds.

Most of the passengers had disappeared over the course of about 4 different stops, the next stop would be my time for departure. It was the absolute closest stop that the Earth Kingdom transport would go to the Fire Nation. I decided to finally strike a conversation with the sketchy cabbage merchant who was still seated beside me because even though he seemed unstable, to say the least, I figured it couldn't hurt to try and get some much needed information from him. My knowledge of current events had become truly pathetic in my banishment.

"Excuse me, sir?" I started, nearly causing him to drop one of his precious cabbages due to his surprise of human interaction.

"Oh, uh, yes miss?"

"I was just wondering how much you're selling your cabbages for."

"Oh! Really?" His face brightened up. Apparently he hadn't had a customer in ages. "5 copper pieces per head."

"Here," I handed him the coins, taking a cabbage in exchange. Wow, no wonder he had no service. These things looked like they'd been through quite a lot.

I spoke with him throughout the rest of my ride and he proved to be pleasantly informing. It was difficult to not explain how I had been banished, but I was able to weave a few lies and divert a few of his skeptical questions to get out my answers. I found out that much of the rumors had been true, except for the one floating around that my son and brother in law were jugglers in a traveling circus. That was a lie. When I inquired about why he was going towards the fire nation capital he explained that even though the firelord was away at a diplomatic trade meeting with the Northern Water Tribe in the North Pole, he was headed to the capital market to try and have better luck with his cabbages. He said that he knew Firelord Zuko was away because as soon as he got back he would take his cabbages right up to the palace and ask for his very own royal vegetable shop, or something like that.

The fact was interesting to me because one of the plans I was thinking of involved going directly to see my son at the palace, but it seemed I would just have to rely on the slightly more dangerous of the two plans. That should be interesting.


	2. Shadows of the Night

**Me: So, who wants to do it this time?**

**Sokka: Ooh oo, me, Let me do it!!**

**Suki: Do what?**

**Toph: Say the disclaimer, duh.**

**Suki: Oh, well how was I supposed to know?**

**Toph: Maybe because it's the beginning of the chapter, Fangirl.**

***Suki pout angrily***

**Sokka: *Nervous laughter* Anywayyy, Taurus3rockergirl wants everyone to know that we don't belong to her but we are owned by Mike and Bryan and Nickelodeon. Yup. Enjoy the chapter!!**

_**Ozai PoV**_

Through my pitifully inaccurate perception of time, I knew that at least a few days had passed while I had gone without any significant amount of sleep. With each passing day my knowledge that I could not live without her progressed. I began to feel the pain more and more acutely and I knew that before long it would consume me completely. I felt the urgency of hearing her voice one last time. Seeing her face one last time. Touching her skin one last time. To make her see me for who I used to be. I wouldn't care if every single person on the face of the earth hated me with the utmost passion, if I could just have her love again. As the days progressed, I began to fall deeper into my abyss of despair. I started to understand the reality that no matter how much I pleaded to the spirits, I would never see my Ursa again, and even if I did see her it would lead me to a worse fate than even this. She would be able to after long years of banishment be able to express the hate she had rightfully developed for me. It would be a whole new hell to see her and have her despise me as I would myself if I was in her place.

I had gone what I deemed nearly another sleepless week when I had finally made my dark decision. The untouched gruel the warden provided as food had long since grown cold and near rancid, and I knew that I was nearly isolated in the prison for hours more. No one would be around to make sure I stayed alive for my years of punishment. The warden would not condone such an escape from what was meant to be eternal punishment. But I, even in my pathetic and lowest of low states, would not heed to the desires of the warden who I myself turned into the most malicious captor of men. When I stood, the muscles in my legs were nearly worn thin from lack of use and I was reduced to leaning heavily on the wall for support. I hated being so weak, but that sour thought was hardly at the front of my mind. My pulse quickened as the end raced toward me. I gathered every bit of strength I had left in me. I knew how I would do it. Nothing gaudy, I just needed to get it over with. It would all be over. Over. The sound of laughter erupted from somewhere in the dark. My own hysterical laughter. It was all going to be over, so close. I raised my head to smash my skull against the cold stone wall, anticipating the numb nothingness that would come.

**Ursa POV**

About a week had passed since that day on the train and I had the assets of a plan and the cover of night. I knew that I could delay no longer to take action, I had made up my mind and I was going in tonight. From my previous years as an insider I was quite certain of where he would be. But if I was wrong…

I had dressed in dark, sensible, robes to blend in with the night. My face was covered, except for the slits necessary for me to see and breathe through. I had practiced my stealth for quite a while, and my footsteps where silent as I ran, the waning moon my only light.I stayed off of the path to the prison when I saw the vast structure come into view, keeping to the shadows.

I didn't know how they would be patrolling the area so I took every precaution. My heart raced and my muscles urged me on, I knew that time was of the essence and I ran like a forest fire across the fire nation savanna. My destination was my mind's only occupant, both the person and the place.  
As the prison drew closer, I prepared myself for the difficulties that would appear. I ran to the back, but not because it would be less guarded.  
Still out of the line of vision of the guards, I performed the most dangerous trick I'd done yet that night. I created an illusion with my voice, sending the sound waves across the area, keeping out of sight. I could hear the heavy footfalls of some of the guards scurry away in the direction where I had made my voice appear to come from. I hurried to the area where the small party of guards had just deserted, but still weary that more guards would definitely be around the perimeter. Sure enough, as I closed in to the towering wall, I could make out the silhouette of a few more burly prison keepers, walking in plotted lines. I took note of each of the consistent trails made by each figure to better plan where I would make my next moves. I calculated that to avoid detection for as long as I possibly could I would have to move about 3 yards diagonally left, then straighten my course. Then I would have to hurry farther left before the guard turned to my direction. It would be high tension territory and if I wasn't completely precise I would have to resort to more… fiery tactics. I silently became one with the overgrowing vegetation, running bent over and as low to the ground as possible.

Diagonal three yards. Straight the next few. My heart lurched as I caught a slight hesitation in one of the guard's movements. I inched forward in a silent crawl, still staying to the course I planned. I moved methodically, sometimes having to halt in fear of being heard, but I had gotten very close. There was one last guard that I hadn't passed, right by the "entrance" I would use. I inched closer to this next obstacle and I knew that I had one shot to get this right. If I missed this one chance, all would be lost; I wouldn't stand a chance against all these guards, well not without things getting messier that I intended. I waited for the perfect instant. One. I moved into just the right position. Two. I pulled out one of my double kodachi from its sheath on my back. Three. The hilt of my blade knocked against his skull and he fell unconscious. I lowered him to the ground, silently. I made my last sprint to the prison wall and began to search. I scoured the area quickly, running it down with my hands until I found it. The metal grate at the base of the wall, just barely big enough to crawl through, but passage was supposedly blocked by the metal bars. And no one, no matter how desperate, was anticipated to go through there. But I knew that it was the only way I could get through quickly.

I heated my palms and grabbed the metal, forcing the cold solid to turn into warm, molten substance. I wriggled through the opening that I had created and managed to still, thankfully, not have been discovered by those oafs of guards. I lowered myself down until I felt my feet contact the wet ground with a slight plop. I took off running, not worried about the splashing of the water echoing through the catacombs. I was just under the last level of the prison where I knew that all of the most important prisoners would be kept.

I searched for some weakness in the dank ceiling, some way to move up into the chamber. There, the packed mud was weak. I took both of my kodachi and created a hole above me. I pulled myself up through the damp dirt, looking before I completely revealed myself. No guards in sight. This was going better than I thought it would, so far. I ran down the dark corridor, not completely sure I was headed in the right direction. My heart raced with the adrenaline of the experience and the fear that I was going the wrong way. I ran and ran through the darkness. Finally I began to see the end of the corridor, that's where the door would be. There it was, I just hoped it was the right one. The door was locked, only a slight setback, but it was one I prepared for. I picked the lock with the point of a kodachi and flung the metal door open.

I removed the dark veil from my visage, keeping it at the ready in case I needed to disguise again. I ran up to the cell, seeing the figure of a man through the darkness. I threw a fiery orb into the cell near the man, to be able to better see the figure, and to draw his attention. He turned in slow motion to face me and I was met by familiar eyes, his face drawn haggard beyond recognition to many, but I would know him anywhere, in any state. Something flashed over his eyes, but he seemed to disbelieve my presence. He turned back to his previous position, facing the wall. What was he doing? No, he couldn't be...  
I called out his name, I had to make him believe that I was there for him. "Stop!" I called out desperately, I didn't come here to watch him die. To my relief he turned again, hysterics flooding his expression. "Have I died already?" He asked distantly, talking to himself more than me. "No," I reached my arm through the bars, needing for him to know that I was real. That I was there. What could make him realize? What could I do? An idea started forming in my mind, it might not work, but it was all I had to go on. My voice trembled as the lyrics of the familiar ballad of the Fire Nation pierced through the intensity of the moment.

_The inner flame glows,  
Inside the veins it flows  
The dance of the embers,  
The roar of all fires,  
The phoenix calls us to follow,  
To follow him home…_

I sang the tune we danced to at our marriage ball, the lullaby I sang to Zuko, then to Azula. It was our song, the lyrics of life. I reached out to him, calling him to me with the song, with every fiber of my being I called him to me. Slowly he took a step back from the wall, turning to face me once more. Another step brought him closer. And another. One more brought him to the bars that separated us and I clasped his cold hands. I could feel that he was shaking. I'd never seen him so weak, so worn. So far gone from how I had last seen him, from my memories of him strong and invincible.

"Ursa"…he called faintly before he collapsed and his consciousness was overcome by his emotions and physical condition.

**Ozai POV**

What was that? Fire. My element was taunting me. Where did it come from? I turned to look in a vague curiosity. What? I knew I was insane then, I thought I saw her. I refused to fall into the trap my mind activated. I just had to end it, the sooner I could escape the torture the better. As I turned, disbelieving, to commit the last murder of my life, I thought I heard her voice. Her voice, it killed me. How I wished she really could have been there, but it wan't possible. She wasn't there. She wasn't there. My imagination, it was her telling me to stop. It was ridiculous. Ursa there, wanting me to spare my own life. "Have I died already," I wondered. I must be in some wonderful, tantalizing abyss.

I saw the phantom reach its arms out to me. I couldn't believe how far from sanity I was getting. It was kind of funny. It was some great sick humor, I thought hysterically.  
What was that, a sound, a voice in the cell to accompany me in all my delusion. But what was it, so strange and familiar, I listened to the angel of music calling me. The siren song entered my ears and filled the room. It ran through my memory and cut into my soul, delving into some void within me. It was…it was her song. No phantom, however perfect, could duplicate her song so well. I gave in to the fragile hope that covered me. I took a step toward the siren. Another step decided that I had nothing to lose in my shattered state. Then I was there and I had to believe. There was no way I could not believe that the angel there with me was the woman I once knew and loved. Everything about her struck recognition in my mind. Her presence overwhelmed me and it was impossible to absorb the reality. My mind shut down and I fell into a peaceful unconsciousness.


	3. Wake Up

**A/N**

**Aang: I'll do the disclaimer this time!**

**Ozai: No! It's my story! I wanna do it! **

**Aang: But aren't you supposed to be unconcious right now?**

**Ozai: Well, yeah...but hey at least I'm in the &*(#*&$%*#'n story!**

**Aang: *runs off crying***

**Katara: Well, I'll just do it, anybody got a problem with that?**

**Ozai: *twitch*waterbender*twitch* **

**Ursa: uhh, Katara, maybe you should let me take care of it this time...hehehe**

**Katara: Yes ma'm.**

**Ursa: Taurus3rockergirl does not own the characters of Avatar: the Last Airbender, or the ideas associated with the series. It all belongs to the wonderful Bryke and Nickelodeon**

_**Ursa PoV**_

I had anticipated such a reaction, but I didn't think he'd be in such poor health. He must not have had any food or water in days at least. I grabbed a canteen of water out of my slight travel bag and maneuvered to pour the water in his mouth. I needed to talk to him soon. Before long I would have to retreat back into the catacombs of which I came as to not be discovered. I broke apart pieces of bread and tried to feed them to Ozai, but it wasn't as easy to give him as the water was.  
I traced the outlines of his bone structure in his worn face with my tender and careful fingers. He was so cold compared to my warm skin. It worried me deeply that I couldn't feel a trace of his inner fire. Even when his heart had begun to grow colder as lust for power began to overrule him, he had always been warm and full of life; full of fire. I knew that soon I would be running out of time, guards couldn't ignore the area forever and I would have to leave time to make a temporary escape. I splashed a bit of the water onto his face. Slowly I watched consciousness flow back into him.

"Ozai," I murmured, "wake up. Wake up, Ozai. I'm here." His eyes weren't open yet, but he began to move his fingers.

"Ursa," His voice was hoarse from lack of use. I gave him some more of my water, helping the rate of his vitality. He sat up and I held his hands in mine, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. "I'm here," I repeated.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you."

"Ursa, I-I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about that. Everything is behind us right now. Just tell me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Am I still banished?" I smiled in a feeble attempt to start this reunion in a light mood.

"I believe that would be up to the new Fire Lord. No, you're not banished." The ghost of a smile played over his grey countenance, then he hung his head once more. "I am so sorry, Ursa, you have no idea. I don't understand..."

"What are you talking about?"

"How can you be here right now, like this. I thought you would hate me... After it all..." I cut him off, lightly resting my hand on his.

"No. I don't hate you. I'm trying to save you while there's still something left to save. I'm here to help you." He gave me a sad smile, ridden with doubt.

"You want me to see things your way now?"

"Not just my way. The right way. Just because your ideals have been threaded into your mentality doesn't mean you can't change. Look at your brother. Your son. Me. We've all gone through it, you can too." He shook his head slowly. "Please, try this, for me."

He looked into my face, "I'm really not in a position to bargain am I?" Good, that was a hopeful response.

"Definately not."

"Then if it means I'll have you back, I'll do anything. Anything for you now Ursa." He clutched my fingers through the bars.

We sat in silence for a few heavy seconds, trying to take in eachother's presence. It was all so surreal, but I would have to leave his side soon.

"Ozai, I don't have much time. I need some information. I haven't exactly been the most well informed citizen in these past years."

"I don't have much."

"I know, but more than I do, I'm sure. First, the children." I observed his expression carefully and saw him quickly mask a strong emotion, maybe shame, disappointment? "Zuko is indeed the Fire Lord and he is -conveniently- in the North Pole right now?"

"Yes. That's the latest I heard."

"Where's Azula?"

"I don't know."

"Who's the warden here?"

"Warden Kasuke, formerly of the Boiling Rock."

"Oh." That meant trouble. I remembered him from the old days and he would be difficult to get past, unlike the typical fire nation guards.

We talked about some of the recent events, swapping tales of the past years as well as reminiscing from the love we shared so long ago. In the back of my mind I was constantly calculating, keeping tabs on how he seemed to be. I knew he had been through, well, a lot, and I also knew he almost destroyed the world. I wasn't going to just tell him everything was alright and expect him to be completely good over night. But as we talked I found signs that he had began to change dynamically since his battle with the Avatar. I learned that he had lost the ability to firebend which probably accounted for the uncanny drop of his body temperature. He had been completely humiliated, and I felt that it was probably the best thing for him.

I couldn't be sure yet if it was his situation that made him so humble or if he had begun a serious and persistent change of heart. Before I escaped with him, I needed to make sure it wouldn't be a bad decision on my part. I decided that I would risk staying under the prison in the catacombs with my limited supply of food and water and keep making trips to talk with him until I was positive that it was the right thing to do to help him escape. I would have to use reason and nothing but, because I knew I couldn't let my persisting love for him influence my decisions.

On one such visit I blatantly asked the question he seemed to dodge giving me much detail about until then. "Tell me about the kids." Ozai hesitated and I was almost afraid to learn the answer.

"Azula…she's well…perfect, or she was. On the day of the comet, she went damn near insane with the power. Nearly killed her brother. Last I heard she's locked up in an asylum. Before her fall, she had become the most powerful bender I had ever seen. Even better than you. Her fire, she perfected it so much it came out blue. A true prodigy. But, I overestimated her. Her perfection was a mask that she feared to take off and I never realized how close she had been all that time to breaking under the pressure.

"What about our son?" Ozai sighed.

"Zuko, he turned out more like you, as we always knew he would, and like Iroh. He looks like you, same eyes. Except…his face, it's sort of different." Ozai averted his gaze, like he was ashamed to look at me then. I didn't press the issue just then. "I banished him, nearly four years ago and he took off to find the Avatar. Iroh was with him the whole time. Long story short he ended up being the Avatar's firebending teacher. During the eclipse, after I allowed him back home, he confronted me and told me he wouldn't follow what I was doing anymore. He knows you're alive somewhere. He wanted to go look for you, but his first months as firelord haven't allowed him the time."

I wanted to know more about the children, Zuko especially, but the subject would have to wait.

"How much longer before a guard comes around?"

"I don't know, all time has been a blur to me. Probably not much longer."

"I'm going to go into hiding under the prison, it's how I came in. I'll wait until I feel the middle of the night come on before I come back to see you. I'll be thinking of a plan in the meanwhile."

"Ursa, please be careful."

"I can take care of myself." We exchanged a smile, he knew that. I stood to leave for the time being.

" Wait," he said, " I just- I can't believe this is real. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I know. This is real, I promise. I won't go too far. I-I love you, Ozai."

"Ursa, it's been hell without you. I love you." I nodded gravely.

"I guess this means you'll never banish me again right?"

"I couldn't if I wanted to." I smiled for him, glad we could find a bit of humor in the serious situation. Then I bid him a farewell and vanished back the way I came.


	4. Social Darwinism and Sweaty Optimism

Ozai PoV- filler before escape

I believe it was the second day she came back when I explained to the fullest what had happened on that fateful day of Sozin's Comet. I told her all about the plan Azula and I had devised and how Zuko and the Avatar's group fought back. And I told her about being stripped of my bending.

"He took your bending?" She asked in disbelief, "I've never heard of such a thing."

"I didn't think it was possible, some kind of energy bending or something. I thought he was going to kill me, but he couldn't- he didn't. It didn't make any sense." Ursa sighed something exasperated and I thought I even saw her roll her eyes through the dim light.

"The Avatar didn't spare your life because he's weak, you have to understand that. He could have killed you but he chose not to because it was the right thing to do. Ozai, I envy the young Avatar's innocence. There is so much I would give for the purity he has maintained through his young, trying life."

"What does purity mean in this world? Just because he was able to keep his hands clean for now doesn't mean he'll be able to hide from the world forever. There's no use for purity, that's just a part of the world we have to work with. In time, there's going to be a time he'll become just as consumed by some form of evil as all of us have. No one can hide from every corruption there is."

"No, you're wrong. There is such greatness in living a full and untainted life. There are parts of me that I hate so much, I've murdered! I've stolen and lied and," She sighed, "A pauper's life didn't suit me well at first at all." Then she dazed into the ground and I knew she'd done things she was ashamed of, and I had a feeling I knew what started what she felt was her downward spiral. It was murder that she spoke of first. Though I could sympathize with her guilt, I thought it was naïve of her to be so idealistic about the good in people. She should know that nothing could overcome the inevitable corruption that came with living in this world. It's either kill or be killed, what you don't use will use you, and that was what life had taught me about the world. I did not understand why she didn't see that too.

* * *

As time passed by I knew that there was still much uncertainty in the situation. I didn't even know if I'd be able to escape anytime soon. I still was unable to bend, and the conditions of the prison were still as pathetic as ever, even with the small amounts of provisions that Ursa would sparingly slip to me. But she had brought hope back in to my soul that had been falling into darkness. Her coming back to me, it made me feel as if anything in the world could be possible. I could not fathom why and how she didn't hate me now after all the things we put each other through. But it didn't matter how it was possible. Nothing else mattered to me when I knew that I undeservingly still had her love.

I had begun to try to make the best of my imprisonment. I spent every opportunity I had building up the muscles that had been slowly deteriorating since the beginning of my time here. When I was not exercising or conversing with Ursa, I slept instead of sitting in despair ridden insomnia. I thought of the present, the future, instead of dreaming of the past.

I spent my mornings with push-ups and crunches, feeling my fundamental strength returning to my body. In the afternoons I experimented with adapting my lack of bending to my traditional fighting style. I practiced familiar kata, adjusting the bending out and keeping them just as effective. It was like I was creating my own fighting style. In a way it was thrilling, once I got past the loss of the sensation of fire filling my nerves. I hated that the kid Avatar was able to strip me of my bending. The painful jab at my pride still tormented me, but it was…somewhat tolerable to not be wasting away in a worthless state.

Once one of the guards came down to my cell, bringing my sorry excuse of a pauper's lunch and I did not let his appearance interrupt my routine. I heard him laugh; a gruff, sarcastic sound from the other side of the bars. I didn't spare him a glance. He spat a disgusting glob of his saliva in front of my face, an uncanny stench coming off his boots.

"Hah, what's exercise gonna do for you? Even if you do manage to get stronger you'll never make it outta here. At least your brother was able to melt his way out of his cell. But you're just pathetic."

I knew that there was some truth in the guard's words, but he didn't know just what advantages I had. It is true that my brother never knew the terror of losing his bending, but I had Ursa on my side. The fact that she was near made me feel invincible. I was impervious to the guard's naïve insults. I gave a victorious, secretive smirk to the back of his loathed boots as he walked away.


	5. Say the Word And I Will Follow You

**Ozai PoV**

Ursa came back as often as she could spare without being too risky. There was a lot we hadn't talked about yet. Some of it was being avoided; some of it wasn't paramount enough to talk about just then. I wasn't telling her about what I did to Zuko, no. I would wait until I felt more secure about her presence before I revealed my more personal offenses to her. I wasn't looking forward to the _Firelord_ returning to the mainland because I knew that he would not sugarcoat the past for his mother. I feared that his sob stories would truly convince Ursa to leave again, and there would be nothing I could do about it.

One thing that had begun to worry me was that we hadn't talked much at all about an escape plan. I started to wonder if she was really intending to leave with me at all. Maybe there was something I had said that had changed her mind. Maybe she just hadn't come up with a plan, but every time I tried to bring it up, she would change the subject completely. I'd even tried my luck with planning, but none of the schemes I came up with seemed plausible and the ones that could have worked had major flaws that I had initially overlooked. I thought about digging a tunnel out, but the ground was too hard in my cell. I thought about having her melt the iron bars that held me, but she dismissed the thought by saying that she wanted to get away using as little force as possible. That was all she would divulge to me and I didn't know how she expected to escape without using force but I decided not to question it. Then suddenly her evasiveness of the subject changed one night nearly three weeks after she had first reappeared.

I ate the pieces of the bread she brought with her. It had begun to taste stale, but it didn't matter to me much, it was still better than the warden's sorry provisions meant to barely keep prisoners alive.

"Here's some water." She handed me her canteen. It still seemed full enough, maybe halfway down. "I have an idea." She declared blatantly.

"You mean-" She nodded. And I waited for her to explain.

"I'm going to write a letter to the warden that will convince him to let you out."

I raised a brow at her interesting suggestion. "You really think that will work? The warden will have you arrested, you're still legally banished."

"Oh, the letter isn't from me." Now she wasn't making any sense at all, didn't she just say she was going to write a letter? But she anticipated my confusion. "See, I'm going to pretend it's an urgent letter from Zuko asking for your immediate release."

"You're going to forge a letter from the-" I had to shove down the bile in my throat as I uttered the title,"-Firelord?" Yeah, she was _at least_ as insane as I was. She nodded. And I thought about the plan for a few seconds, thinking over the flaws.

"The warden isn't the kind of guy to just follow the instruction of anyone without good reason," especially not Zuko, Firelord or not, I thought, "what are you going to write to convince him?"

"I'm going to tell him that there's a new reform institution being built where special case prisoners will be held. It keeps the prisoners in complete isolation. It'll say that you're going to be one of the first prisoners there, like a test run, so he has to have you transferred. If he doesn't follow through with it, the warden himself will be a test subject for the cruel and unusual ways of the new prison."

"Then what's going to happen when he decides to have me transferred?"

She smirked mischievously, "I'm going to take out one of the minor guards around the area and disguise myself as him, or her so that I'll be in the position to be the one to come and retrieve you and be your escort out to the boat that will lead you straight to the new institution which will be, unbeknownst to the warden, on Ember Island."

I knew that the guards would be no problem at all for her to handle. I tried to find any flaw in the plan, but she had already thought about every loop hole that I could see, she had planned for every diversion and defect. She would send the letter tomorrow.


	6. If We Fly Away Tonight

**Author's Note!**

**Me: Alright, I'm interrupting at the beginning of the chapter for a couple of reasons. First off let me clarify that there is slight out of character-ness on Ursa's part where you will see a uh, first draft of the letter, you'll know what I'm talking about when you get there. I just put that in for some humor; don't think of it as necessarily Ursa's thoughts if it displeases you. **

**Also, I want to say that my I'm really happy with my reviewers and want you all to know how happy having your feedback and support makes me. So to reward your support, I'm going to let a few of our friends give you a little taste of what's to come:**

**Aang: Okay, so Zuko gets to be in the story, but not me? C'mon that's just wrong!**

**Sokka: Yeah, nobody loves Zuko!**

**Katara: *Glares* at her brother**

**Toph: Well I'm gonna be in it too! Yay, maybe this life changing adventure with Sparky won't be another worst field trip ever!**

**Enter Zuko**

**Zuko: Hey guys, what's going on?**

**Katara, Sokka, and Aang: No! Zuko, you can't know about it!**

**Zuko: About what?**

**Toph: Oh, probably about the letter that-**

***Sokka grabs Toph and covers her mouth***

**Sokka: No letter, nothing.**

**Katara: Yeah, Aang's just miffed that you're in the fic and he's not.**

**Zuko: oooookkayyyyyy…. Anyway I was sent to tell all you readers that Taurus3rockergirl doesn't own any of us, our butts belong to Brike…so yeah, I guess I'll be seeing you guys from the scenes in a couple chapters…**

_**Ursa's PoV**_

I hoped that what I was doing was right. I wanted to be able to trust him completely, and I wanted to know for sure that helping him escape wouldn't come back to haunt me, but all I could do in the situation was rely on my intuition and hope that I wasn't making a mistake. I could tell that Ozai was still as I had left him in many ways. It's how his mind works; his pride and his feelings, however false, of superiority towards mostly all people. But I could also tell that if there was ever a time when he would be close to being able to be saved, it would be now. It was time to try my luck with changing how his life had weaved him. It was the time when the fibers of his being would be most pliable to change for the better. And besides, I was tired of living under the prison in the gloomy, rat infested catacombs.

The morning after I presented my plan to Ozai I returned to the place where I first broke into the prison's underground through the dark winding tunnels. The previous night while I sat at Ozai's cell, I had written out the letter that I was to send to the warden with some writing supplies that I had packed in my knapsack. The final draft of the letter that Ozai and I had devised went like this:

_Warden Kasuke,_

_If you want to see Mr. Fluffykins again, give me all your money and your most high security prisioner! _

Well, actually it went more like this:

_Warden Kasuke,_

_As Firelord I wish to inform you that there is a new institution built at the North Pole, which I am presently investigating. It is a top security prison and I request the transfer of a certain prisoner from your care to the new prison. With the exchange of Ozai Kasanji to the North Pole, you will have a chance to resume your position at the Boiling Rock. Send the prisoner to the port with an escort at noon on the 5__th__ day of December. Your cooperation will be much rewarded._

_Firelord Zuko_

I took a hoi pear that I had been saving out of my bag and set it on the ledge of the opening that I first came in to the prison by and waited with the scroll in hand. I watched the winter sun move across the sky. I watched an occasional distant guard walk the area. I heard an abundance of birds caw and tweet. And I waited patiently and silently, hidden behind the underground wall.

I'd been waiting for so long that when a messenger hawk swooped down for the bait I almost fell backward. I swiftly gathered my balance and attached the letter to the hawk's foot and sent it to the warden. I followed the action with a silent prayer to the spirits and retreated back down the corridor to the spot where I had set up a temporary hide out sort of camp.

I woke up from a short and necessary slumber at dusk that night, so my inner fire told me. I went straight down the path that I had followed every night since my coming into the prison. I listened to the world above from my usual place until I heard the footsteps of the last guard of the day walk away from the direction of Ozai's cell. But before I followed through with my routine there was one more thing I had to do.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Ozai PoV**_

I waited for her return, hoping that the first stage of the plan went well for her. Then I saw a woman guard appear out of the darkness…after the last guard of the night had left. The irregular appearance confused me at first, and even more when I realized that the guard wasn't the one called Ming that I normally saw. The guard came up to the bars that encaged me and removed her helmet and I resisted the urge to scoff at myself for not realizing before that it was Ursa revealed from behind the helmet.

"Ursa," I exclaimed, "all has gone as planned then?"

"Yes, so far. I sent the letter to the warden and there have been no apparent complications." That was good news. I couldn't imagine the plan failing now.

"So tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow the Warden will have hopefully already received the letter and he will go along with the plan at noon. I will be at the entrance to the prison to take you from whatever escort you first receive. At dawn tomorrow I'll leave to go and arrange for a wagon to come to the prison entrance where I'll be escorting you to the port and then to the boat that will set its course for the North Pole. After we're on the boat, which will be big enough for no one to take much attention to any passengers, especially since our presence will be kept in low publicity, we'll take one of the life boats and row to Ember Island."

I nodded. Yes, the plan seemed flawless, nothing would, no, nothing would go wrong. The excitement of finally leaving this prison was rising in me. I was going to be free and I was going to be with Ursa. I knew there would be complications later, but it didn't matter. If this plan worked, I could take on any new problem that would come, even without my bending.

"And we'll be free."

"Yes, we'll be free."

I felt her warm, reassuring hand clasp mine and a driving force of hope boiled in my blood.


	7. I Would Drive On To The End With You

**Author's Note:  
I'm pretty proud of this chapter, I think it covers a lot but its nothing too lengthy. I tried to keep it very in character, especially in the end. I hope you like it!  
Please review, and by the way, thanks again to the couple of people out there who've been reveiwing regularly, it's good for me to know that I'm keeping you interested. =) It's only going to get better, I promise.  
****Oh, and soon I'll be posting a link to the playlist for the fic. It's on and my username is PhanTaySea13, it's my Beating Hearts Grow But Never Die Playlist. Check it out if you want to!  
****This is a non-profit story, I hold no claims to anything that is Avatar: The Last Airbender. **

* * *

**Ursa PoV**

I stood waiting outside of the entrance to the prison clad in the stolen uniform. I had returned from spending all that was left of my money on a covered wagon that was presently behind me as I waited for the warden. I suspected that the warden would not merely send a random guard out to escort the former Firelord out of his cell, and he would want to make sure that he wasn't being scammed. I was trying with difficulty to push back my nerves, but in all honesty I was trembling in the uncertainty of the situation. I went over what was left of the plan in my head and repeated reassuring mantras to myself. After waiting for a while, still failing to overcome my nerves, I began to meditate as I stood in waiting. It would look suspicious for me to sit and truly meditate if the Warden saw me. If I were who I pretended to be, I would have no reason for worrying. I cleared my head, breathing in full, deep breaths of the open air. In just a matter of time Ozai and I will be free to leave this dreadful place. I tried to focus on the feelings I had of just being able to see the sun again. It truly was refreshing to be out of the undergrounds of the dungeon, but not even the comforting warmth of the sun was providing a constant peace of mind for me. The anxiety fought to overcome my wits, but I fought it back; the need to be alert and in control of the situation gave me the determination I needed to keep a level head. So I waited in that manner of struggling against anxiety until my heart leapt into my throat. Finally the huge double doors begun to creep open. Three figures dissolved into view from the shadows of inside the prison. The Warden approached, and I bowed to him briefly in the Fire Nation way of respect. Ozai was to the Warden's left, shackled in tight iron cuffs and restrained gruffly by a burly male guard. As I took in the broken and defeated persona that Ozai portrayed, I gained confidence in the situation. I held back a cough of laughter at how convincingly he pulled off the act of being a completely pathetic prisoner, which I guess he was.

The short muscular warden stepped closer to me, stubborn cynicism plastered onto his…revolting visage.

"You're the guard that will take this filthy prisoner off of my hands?"

I nodded curtly, "Yes sir," I responded in the uneducated prison guard accent.

"Well then tell me where it is you'll be escorting this dog to," his oily voice drained into the air.

"I just know I'm taking him in this wagon here to a boat bound for the North Sea."

"Very well, and when will you be parting from the prisoner?"

"Just as soon as the ship ends its course and I hand him over to new caretakers, no sooner."

"And then one more thing to secure your legitimacy. Answer this question. On what day did a group of six people escape incredulously from the legendary Boiling Rock?

Someone had escaped the Boiling Rock? I pretended to think and then screamed "Eat this bitch!" I punched him in the nose as hard as I could. Blood splattered as I shoved my fist into the soon to be scrambled brains of the Warden.

Or at least that was the scene I imagined as I searched my brain for a logical answer. I had no idea, I frantically looked around for a clue of some sort. My eyes landed on Ozai's figure and he inconspicuously flashed me some numbers with his fingers. First six, then a fist, then ten, and nine, and a fist. What could that mean? Maybe the sixth month, June, on the 19th day. It was the only shot I had and I took the chance.

"June 19th, this past year."

The Warden seemed reluctant, but he uttered, "Correct," and I let out the breath that I had been holding in, relieved.

The large guard threw Ozai down, skidding in the tough dirt towards me.

"Take 'em." The Warden spat. I took Ozai's chains and guided him onto the wagon just a few paces behind me. I watched as the Warden and his crony vanished back into the stronghold. Inside the wagon I exchanged a smile with my prisoner. Free at last, free at last.

**Ozai PoV**

Finally, I could see the sun, I could feel the wind, smell the fresh air, but none of the splendors of the world could compare to the beauty of what I was able to do next. I reached out and embraced my Ursa. I lifted her helmet off of her perpetually beautiful head and I held her close to me in a way that was urgent and hesitant all at once. I felt her return my embrace through the metal materials of her semi-revealing prison guard's outfit. Reluctantly I let her end the embrace and I let go of her. Then I caught something in her eye an instant before I felt the world slip away. I felt her soft lips connect and contrast with my own. The sweet caress of her lips took me back to years ago. Before the power, before the complications, before what we had was tainted by the ordeals of the world. I melted into the fire still within her. I went from cherishing the moment to greedily pulling her closer, but just a moment after she ended the passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and sighed. Yes we were moving far away from the reach of the Warden, but we couldn't be moving without the driver that carried us along the roads. I brought my senses reluctantly back to the scene at hand, though I wished to forget the world for just a few moments and know nothing but her.

"We aren't going to a ship setting its course for the North Pole."

I cleared my throat, "Then how are we getting to-"

She pressed a finger to my lips, "Give me one second," She requested before disappearing into the driver's bench behind the somewhat heavy tarp that separated the compartments. Almost immediately I heard a soft _thud_, like a body hitting the packed ground. As we rode on I glanced out the back of the cab, my suspicions confirmed by the sight of the former driver's unconscious body lying off to the side of the road.


	8. What Is It That I'm Meant to Have Wrote?

**Author's Note!  
There's been a slight change in the plan from chapter six. I previously had it so that Ozai and Ursa would actually be en route to the north pole and escape on a lifeboat from the ship, but now I'm just going to have it so that Ursa had made arrangements with a character she met while traveling before to help them out. You may recognize him from The Painted Lady episode, =)**

**I think this is my longest chapter yet, I hope you enjoy it! Please review!**

**Also, I just had a couple of great ideas to add to the bulk of the story, I can't wait to write and post them. It's so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**One more thing: I wanted to add two more parts to this chapter, but because of how long it's taken me to get this posted, I'm just putting it on the next chapter. (It will be up by Tuesday, hopefully sooner!)**

Ursa PoV

By the time I had driven the wagon to the destination I had in mind, the sky was turning into a peaceful dusk as the second night since our escape. I slowed the ostrich horse and perused the area, looking for a boatman that had helped me on my way back to the fire nation at first. I just hoped he was still around. Thankfully the area was hardly busy at all. It was on the coastline of the mainland, but far enough away from the more congested docks. I thought that it would be too risky to go to the busier areas of the port because of how easily recognized Ozai could be. I had changed out the prison guard clothing into the dark, practical garbs that I sported upon entry to the prison, but he hadn't been able to get out of his prisoners clothes and I realized that could complicate things a bit later. His voice came from the back of the wagon, where he was concealed from pairs of knowledgeable eyes of prying civilians.

"Do you see that boat that you are looking for?"

"No- wait, maybe. I think that's him." I pointed to a small boat with a comical-looking elderly man at the bow. "Remember, you're na-"

"I know, I know. My name is Makoto and you and I are siblings." He repeated mechanically. Personally I didn't see what was wrong with the name I suggested, Lee, but he insisted on taking the name Makoto as a condition to playing the part of my elder brother in place of my husband. He is so stubborn. I sighed a slight smile, holding on to the hope of reviving what might have been.

I dismounted and tied the well-trained ostrich horse to a nearby post, walking cautiously down the decaying dock.

"Hello there!" called the friendly voice of a waving man from the boat.

I returned his greetings, "Doc, how good to see you again. How are your brothers?"

"They're all just fine, would you like me to get them for you?"

"No-no, that's fine. I need to talk to you about a favor. You see, I need transport to Ember Island, with my brother, who is presently waiting in the wagon there." I gestured to the caravan encasing my prisoner.

"Oh I see. I'd be happy to help but, you know I don't normally do these things for free…"

"I'm all out of money. We're penniless travelers now, but I have something I could barter with," I bluffed.

"Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt to make a compromise. Let's see what you got and see if it'll get you and your brother to the Island. "

I had no idea what he would take as payment in exchange for a ride to Ember Island. I unstrapped the bag from my back and searched frantically that looked like something with a worthy street value. No, I refused to give up my double kodachi, unless it was the only choice. Aha! I pulled the prison guard outfit out of the bag, it was plated in gold and I was nearly certain that it would be a worthy trade.

"Here," I held out the clothing to Doc, "It belonged to a friend of mine, a guard of the royal prison. It has golden detailing and is made of very expensive fabrics."

"Oh, yes. It seems so…it sure seems sufficient, and I'm always willing to help out. Go and get your friend, I'll take you both straight away."

"Thank you so much, Doc" I turned to go tell Ozai that we had our ride and heard the schizophrenic man mutter something that sounded like "Aw shucks," behind me.

**Zuko PoV**

I didn't intend for my trip with Katara and Sokka to the Northern Water Tribe to take so long. I was held up by politics at first, and then I was invited to a wedding party of Master Pakku and Katara's Gran-Gran. Then Sokka took me ice dodging and I became an honorary member of both water tribes, according to both chiefs, Hakoda and Arnook. I still couldn't see how they all love the ice and snow so much. I was just glad to be back in the warm, semi-tropical climate of the Fire Nation. My home. Not a week had passed since I had been home when I made a trip down to the royal prison. Before I left, I'd made regular trips down to see my father. I kept trying to get any word about my mother's locations out from him. He never gave in, and I started to think that maybe he was just as clueless as I was.

I was headed to the cell this time to tell Ozai that after the nation had gotten a bit more settled and my reign as Firelord became more stable, I would start on a mission to go and find my mother. I also meant to tell him that I would understand completely when, if, I brought her back, if she refused to see him.

I walked all the way down the path into darkness deep as hell that lead to Ozai's cell, and what I found left me bewildered and fuming. He wasn't there, but the cell was all intact. It wasn't anything like Iroh's broken bars that he escaped from. No, Ozai must have had help from someone, but whom? Could Azula have escaped from her prison and come to claim her ally? Boiling, I stormed to the Warden's quarters, back at the top of the prison. I threw open the door, banging it against the wall in my fury.

"Firelord Zuko, to what do I owe-"I didn't have time or patience for the Warden's droning just then. I interrupted his phony bow of respect.

"Where is my father!?" Confusion clouded his countenance.

"My Lord, he's on his way to the new institution in the North Pole, as you instructed."

"As I instructed?" Now I was confused, "What are you talking about?"

"In the letter you wrote." What is it that I'm meant to have written?

"I didn't write a letter." He went to his table and retrieved a scroll.

"Then what is this?" He flung the parchment at me. I became more and more disturbed by the line. The handwriting didn't match up to mine exactly, but it was freakishly similar.

"This isn't mine," I declared, "There's no new institution in the North Pole!"

Who could have done this? I had to find him, quickly. Something was going on and I needed to know what.

"Tell me everything. Now." I growled the demand to the useless Warden.

**Ursa Pov**

The Ember Island house was frankly in terrible shape. I admit that I had expected it to be a bit dustier, but just about everything else that could have been disarrayed or broken was in such a state. The mess broke my heart, but I kept optimistic about the task at hand. Just a little work and I'd be able to restore the house to its former splendor. Still, I would like to know what insolent fool broke down the perfectly good doors, what a shame.

I found that there were still some old clothes left in the wardrobe of the master bedroom. The materials were worn and threadbare, but it was good to be back in my familiar clothing from the better years. I chose one of the cooler outfits as the day was hot and I expected to be doing laborious housework. I was thankful that I could still pass of to be in my thirties, because if I truly looked my age the dress would be much less flattering, I was sure.

There were places on the walls lined in rectangles of dust. It appeared as if not too long ago someone had been in the house and removed nearly all of the pictures that were strewn around. The only room that showed absolutely no traces of being touched was the master bedroom that had belonged to Ozai and me. I began to suspect that my son had recently revisited our old home for some reason. That could most definitely account for all of the missing pictures and strangely arranged curios and trinkets. It looked as if the house had been robbed of all things flammable, I mused. I had begun my extensive version of spring cleaning in the kitchen, polishing the silvers and cleaning all of the china to a point where I felt sure it would not be harmful to eat off of. But how would we get the money to buy food? I recognized that during my banishment I went through a period when I was unabashed to commit petty larceny and less than respectable means to get by, but I did not want to be reduced to such measures again. I sighed as I wondered what would happen to us next. It could not be long before Zuko returned to the palace and he would surely come and find us here not long afterward. I wondered how he would react to all of it, my reappearance I mean. I could understand how he would most likely not be thrilled about what I had done for Ozai, but sincerely I hoped that we could all find forgiveness, start anew, if you will. But, Zuko wasn't around yet and I recognized that I needed to just take the obstacles in life as they came, and presently I had to make the house more livable and start to recover the life that could have belonged to Ozai and me. It was so long ago that we were in love. I mean the kind of love that is real and pure, in the truest form. Not the kind of love between married people just barely holding up their relationship through every possible obstacle, not the kind of love that had turned into nothing more than something that had become essential because it's just the way it should be. I want back the love we shared when we loved because it was how we felt about eachother, not because it was what we had been placed into.

Satisfied with the cleanliness of another spoon, I saw Ozai's reflection appear upside down next to my own topsy turvy one in the silver. I set the spoon down and turned to face him. He had finally been able to bathe and change out of his worn prison clothes. He dressed, like me, in clothes leftover from the old days when we came here together, before everything fell apart in those last fatal events.


	9. Interstate Love Song

**Author's Note!!**

**Let me shout out a thank you to ArrayePL for the constant reviewing! Those reviews really inspire me to keep uploading!**

**Azula: Do you end this chapter with parent sex?**

**Me: No!! But there is a risqué make-out scene that I want to warn you readers about. It's not till way late in the chapter though. But beware Azula, there will be some of that "parent sex" later. =P **

**By the way, Azula, I would be honored if you would say my disclaimer for me…**

**Azula: Of course, Taurus3rockergirl wants you all to know that none of these…charming characters belong to her, they all belong to Bryke and Nickelodeon, as do all thing related to Avatar: The Last Airbender.**

**Zuko PoV**

I couldn't believe this…

Why was that, that imbecile the warden anyway? Wait, I have the power to demote him…I'll seriously consider that, after I return. My thoughts ran wildly between the Warden, Ozai, and multiple versions of conspiracy theories. As I prepared for my hopefully short endeavor, I took my hair out of the topknot and dressed in my comfortable travelling clothes. I tossed a few necessities into a rucksack. A strong feeling of déjà vu struck me as I picked up my swords and headed towards the door. I moved toward the door and reached for the knob just as it burst open. Immediately I was being pounded by a pair of very small, very hard fists. The young earth bender punctuated her fierce words with punches.

"Sparky! I said I would come *punch* and see you*punch* when you *punch harder* got back and now *punch* you're leaving again *PUNCH*!!"

"Ow, uh, Toph, well you can come-" I tried to say through the tiny ball of fury's vocalizations.

"Shut it Sunshine because I'm coming with you!"

"Toph!"

"What?"

"That's what I just said!"

"Oh, okay then. What are we waiting for, let's GOOO!" She hesitated for a second, "Wait, where are we going?"

So I explained to her everything I knew about the situation that I had come home to and I vividly ranted my frustrations as she listened attentively. So together we set off to the source of where my intuition led me. Ember Island called to me and I knew it was the right place to start searching for the missing ex-firelord.

The same questions kept running through my head. Who helped him? How did he do it? What's his plan? How dangerous is he now? What will happen when I find him? I just hoped Azula wasn't behind this, but I didn't see what else could have happened.

**Ozai PoV**

The first night at Ember Island, she and I had both fallen asleep almost as soon as we made contact with the silken sheets. I remember barely muttering a good night as I felt her melt into my arms. But it was the next day and I was well rested, as was Ursa. She was already out of bed when I woke up and I assumed she had already begun tidying the house. After I bathed I searched my wardrobe. I was appalled at the state of the clothes that I was forced to choose from. All dust covered and moth eaten. I resented the lack of money and of power that I had available to me. I hated having to live like a mere civilian, no worse, like a pauper. My regal blood was not meant to live this way. I found the most intact clothes, a loose pair of pants, and after tossing an upsetting amount of unworthy materials, I decided to leave my torso bare.

I looked around the big house for Ursa, spotting her in the kitchen. Going up to her from behind, I wrapped my arms around her and planted a kiss in her hair. She still smelled the same. White plum. I whispered a good morning in her ear and she turned to face me, smiling.

"Oh, good, you're up. Could you go and pick a few fire lilies from the garden for me?" So I brought her some of the flowers, which she put in a recently polished vase. Throughout the day I tried to get just a few minutes to be with her, but she kept sending me on meaningless, servant worthy tasks. My annoyance grew by the time we sat down for lunch, which she had somehow found the means to provide.

"Ursa, you seem…preoccupied today." I confronted her.

"No I'm not." She protested, "There's just so much to do." Somehow I felt like there was some other reason for her business, but then again I may have just been paranoid.

I took her hands in mine and looked at her in a "Tell me, I don't believe you" way.

"Really. I would just rather be done with all the cleaning and everything in one day."

"Can't we hire a servant? Oh, right." I corrected myself with a look from her, I still find it hard to get used to the lack of power. Wait, did I see her roll her eyes at me? No, of course not.

"I sure hope you'll gain something from this experience." She declared in a voice on the verge of being condescending.

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"Not all of us have been as fortunate as you have for the past eight years. While you were sitting there on your throne, leading your nation and holding onto terrific powers, there were people out there struggling to see the next day. Good people were out there doing anything at all possible to make ends meet. And I experienced that way of life. I know what it's like to be among the other half. Ozai," the emotion filling her voice threatened to shove me backwards, "In all your riches, did you ever truly regret how it happened? Did you ever feel like you were unworthy of your position? Did you ever wonder what kinds of hardships I was going through?"

Her passionate words took me aback; I had not realized just how vulnerable she was. I had not seen how the years had treated her.

"Ursa, I-," and with a skid of her chair, she was gone from the room. I sighed and took to studying the table. What now? Do I follow her or wait for her to cool off? I began to wonder if there was something wrong with Earth Kingdom air. It seemed that everyone who spent long periods banished from the Fire Nation or in the Earth kingdom came back with these weird notions of rugged individualism or something. Iroh, Zuko, now Ursa?

As dusk approached, not long after our mealtime quarrel, I found Ursa curled up on one of the large, red sofas in an upstairs den. I knew that she heard me come in when she spoke, without turning or looking at me.

"Truly", she said "banishment was the best thing you ever could have done for my life." I walked into her line of vision.

"Your son once said the same thing." That struck her interest. "You think we will see him soon?" I asked. She nodded.

"I sure would like to be able to hear some current news. We don't even know if Zuko has arrived back yet."

"Yes, but I would be severely disappointed if it took him too long to find us." I muttered, thinking about how it would be typical of him to still not be an effective tracker after the three long years of Avatar hunting.

She looked at me, urging me to explain.

"He has spent years developing his tracking skills," I said, "I couldn't imagine him taking all too long to find us here." Truthfully I had no idea if it would be a long time or not. The longer the better, I hoped to put off his reunion with his mother for as long as possible.

"However, if it was Azula that was in her brother's situation, she most likely would already be here. She was always the more, capable of the two. "

Ursa crossed her arms at that remark, oh no, I thought. She always did favor Zuko whilst I loved our daughter. I should not have spoken of my favoritism just then. "I only meant," I defended, "that Azula proved a better tracker, and this sort of thing is what she has been good at. But in the end, none of that mattered." I hesitated, but she did not appear all too offended about my contempt for her son. She always was aware that the two of them had a better relationship.

"Ursa," I began, "about earlier, I wanted to tell you that, well, I'm sorry. Even if you somehow benefited from banishment," she shifted so I could sit next to her, "it has always been my highest regret." I hoped to wash away the lies that I hid through my statement. Truthfully, there were times throughout the years that I was so intoxicated with power that how I had achieved it mattered little. But that was all in the past now.

"Look at me Ursa." I clasped her shoulders in my hands, "All that matters now is that I love you. I love you now and nothing else matters."

She closed her eyes and leaned against me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, feeling the warmth of her body radiating, overpowering the cool winter air. Slowly I bent to kiss her, and thankfully she responded as I hoped. She returned the kiss, entwining her fingers in my hair. I kept her close with a hand pressing against the middle of her back, my other on her waist. I moved in against her so that her body was trapped between the couch and myself, one of my hands by the nape of her neck, the other on the small of her back, pressing her ever closer. Her arms wrapped around my neck, warm against my skin. She deepened the kiss and I reacted, biting down on her bottom lip. I felt her body arch to me as she let out the faintest moan; I yearned to hear more of a response from her. My hands explored her informal kimono with the urgency I felt to feel her skin against mine. I slipped the fabric off of her delicate shoulders, exposing her soft moonlight-pale skin. I grew selfish with anticipation and began to forcefully strip her down more completely. Pulling away from another heated kiss, I noticed a single tear run down her face. "Ursa, what is it?" Her tears confused me, surely she wanted this? Afraid to know her answer, she simply kissed me again and I couldn't object. Somehow I pulled restraint from the depths of my being and despite my physical needs, I finished out our kiss and rolled over, lying with my angel on the huge burgundy sofa until we both fell into sleep.


	10. One of Us is Going Down

**A/N! **

**This is the chapter where Zuko arrives at Ember Island. Very exciting chapter, I'm having my sister (the artist in my family) draw a little mini manga for this chapter, as soon as it's up I'll post a link on my profile to her DeviantArt page where you'll be able to see it. Please enjoy, I especially like the ending, this is one of my most favorite chapters I've written yet.**

**Katara: yeah, this is a fun one. Taurus3rockergirl doesn't own Avatar: The Last Airbender, or anything about it. It all belongs to Bryke and Nickelodeon. And please give her some reviews!**

**Ursa PoV**

I faintly remembered Ozai and I getting up late last night and reuniting with the bedroom, which accounted for why I did not find myself on the sofa upon waking the next morning. My inner fire had me rise with the sun, yet I noticed that Ozai slept through the dawn. I knew he must still have felt terrible about having his bending taken away. I had already bathed and dressed when he woke up. I was in the kitchen taking inventory of the nonperishable food we had stored away when I decided I needed to venture out to the market and find some food. Fortunately, the day before I had found a leftover stash of enough money to sustain us on a low budget for a while. It wasn't enough for anything extravagant, but it proved plenty to get by on. "Ozai, I'm going out to the market, I'll be back soon!" I called upstairs to him. I heard him shout down his response and I was out the door.

**Zuko PoV**

"So you really think he's gonna be here? I mean, it's kind of ironic that the place we once came to avoid him is the first place you wanna look." Toph said to me as the two of us walked on the sandy beach to the old summer house.

"Yeah, I know. I just think he's here."

"Whatever."

I exhaled when we reached the threshold of the big house that I hated. I could feel it. I knew that man was in there. I gave up on controlling my emotions toward the whole issue, deciding that if ever there would be a time to take care of things in less than politically correct ways, this was strictly the family matter to do so with. I kicked down one of the big double doors, they were already half broken anyway.

"I know you're in here!" I yelled out as I ran down the first hallway, Toph in tow directly behind me. I drew my dao swords. I still didn't know how he escaped, and I wanted to be ready to face anything.

"Zuko, this way!"And I followed Toph's instruction down the halls to the courtyard. I stopped short when I saw him there. He stood out in the middle of the stone clearing, sure footed and arrogant, as always. He turned when he heard me advance into the courtyard.

"How did you get out?" I demanded, taking a threatening stance.  
"Toph, go keep a lookout," I said in a softer voice. I couldn't have her get hurt, and I needed to know if there was someone else around. I doubted that Ozai would divulge anything, but it seemed to me that he wasn't in much of a place to bargain. Or so I thought, until he smirked at me in his overconfident way.  
What don't I know? I took a step closer. "Who wrote that letter?" My voice echoed around the courtyard and I took another few steps closer. I took a breath to calm the blood boiling inside of me. Okay Zuko, this is no time to get carried away. Be levelheaded, I demanded of myself. Then he spoke.

"You would think I was lying if I told you." I felt my expression shift into one of impatience.

"What do you mean? Was it Azula?" And he laughed. I hate his laugh, his sneering voice; I hate everything that makes him happy. If he even knows the feeling, but somehow I doubted it. I hate him. It was then that his laughter, mocking me, urged me to charge at him, my opponent, and the courtyard turned into our battlefield.

My target dodged to the left of my lunge and I kept the attack streaming. One of my blades scraped his left side, the other grazed across his chest. He was faster than I expected and it wasn't exactly the connection I was looking for, but it at least drew a thread of blood from both places that he was cut. Nothing immediately fatal. He dodged my next strike and came in for a blow with his fist in an attempt to connect with my stomach. Momentarily taking to the floor, I tumbled out of the range of his arm, getting back on my feet without a second to spare. As soon as I was upright he was almost on me.

I swung my blades around, gathering momentum to plunge both of the blades into each of his sides simultaneously. Against my expectations, he didn't dodge or leap out of my way. He moved into the arc of my swords, narrowly avoiding another cut, and he grabbed my forearms. I cursed, what the-? He was too close for me to connect with my swords. His grip clamped my arms forcefully and he twisted my arms backward. I was forced to drop my weapons as the alternative was to have my arms broken. Fine, this will be strictly hand to hand combat from here on out. He can't bend; I still have the upper hand. But something inside me wanted desperately to be able to beat him without bending. The victory would be so much more satisfying. Still in his death grip, I gathered momentum from the floor and hurdled myself, flipping over him and breaking his hold on me.

He picked my two swords up off the ground and flung them to the side of the battlefield, giving me time to aim a sidekick in his ribs. I barely made contact as he moved to the left and I navigated away from what would have been a powerful fist to my sternum. He moved in, stepping closer to take the offensive. I deflected his right fist with a rising block, following his arm back to counter with a strike to the neck, which he side-stepped. A hard hook punch slammed into my temple, causing a light to briefly flash behind my eyes. As he aimed to follow up with a back hand strike to the same place, I back-hand sprung out of the way, lithely landing back on my feet and throwing a kick to his midsection. My stronger adversary fought against my superior agility. He had more mass and force behind his movements, but I was fast and flexible enough to get out of range of the brunt of his blows.

I was faintly aware of the dwindling sunlight. Our fight was becoming a battle in the moonlight. I hoped for a death match. It was a kill or be killed situation, as it had always been between us. All I knew was that I wanted him to hurt. I wanted to be the one to inflict tremendous pain on him, but he was putting up a better fight than I thought he would. What was driving him? What did he have that I didn't know about? He went in for another punch and I grabbed his arm, my movements flowing into a low kick to the back of his leg in a sort of foot sweep. Effectively, he lost balance and his face came into contact with the stone floor, but then I realized that he still had a hold on me, and not an instant later did I go crashing down with him.

He pulled me down and twisted his body so that he had me pinned down under him. I growled in frustration. I couldn't let it end like this. Desperate for the upper hand, I struggled to take control. I was just about to ignite a ball of fire in my right fist when Ozai let up on his grip on my left arm in preparation to strike my face. Unable to break free enough to roll out of the way of his punch, I felt his fist collide with the cartilage of my nose and I became aware of the taste of iron in my mouth. Dammit, probably a broken nose, but I didn't hesitate and miss the opportunity I had while my left arm was free. I got him in the temple with a forceful hook punch. The impact made his grip on me loosen and I kicked him hard in the shin. Not very stylish, but it was effective enough.

I took the break in his defense to grab his throat. His back on the stone, I kneeled over him with my hands clasping his neck, blocking off his airstream. My thoughts were clouded over with anger's irrationality. I wanted that man out of my life and I'd take care of the consequences later. Sadistically, I thought about how ironic it would be if I killed him. A life for a life. He tried to speak through my grip on his throat. He managed to rasp out some nonsense, I assumed he would start bluffing, anything to hold on to his pathetic, undeserving life.

"She won't...be…pleased…if…you…kill me." She? What is he talking about? He tried to talk again, "let...me go….and," he attempted to gasp atin some air, "I'll tell you...who…helped." He was turning blue from lack of oxygen, and I was relishing every instant, every sensation, of taking his life away. Aang wouldn't approve, Katara might hate me for being a murderer, but they were good people. I didn't have that luxury. I had his blood flowing through my veins and I hated it, but it had always been there and there was nothing I could do to change that part of me. That ravenous, bloodthirsty part of my soul. I could feel the rate of his pulse start to slow. I was the witness to his life deserting him.

"Zuko! Someone's here coming behind me!" I heard Toph's voice call out. Dammit. Just a few more seconds and he'd be gone. I heard another racing pair of footsteps coming through the entrance to the courtyard. The sound was followed by that of a woman's voice, breaking the dissolving intensity of the moment.

"Let go of him!" She shouted, and I turned to see who it was. My grip on my father's throat immediately fell limp in shock. I heard him gasping for air when the ghost darted toward the two of us. I felt the blood rush out of my face. No. Way.


	11. The Ghost of You

**A/N**

**Sorry guys, I've been sick and my stupid dad sold my laptop so I've been having to use my stationary pc. not really working out, so here's a little chapter lump that had to be written, I'm really looking forward to the rest of the ideas I have swarming in my head and my lil sis has been instrumental in the planning for these next few chaps coming up. By the end of this week I'm going to have a little random ficlet up that I got the inspiration for and just had to write. Also soon to come is my sis's manga for the fight scene in ch. 10. So yeah, I do not own avatar or any such things to do with it. Nor do I own bryke…that'd be cool though. =P So here's a snippet, have fun and review! =)**

**Toph PoV**

The stranger ran into the room behind me just after I told Zuko that someone was coming. I had no idea who she was. I couldn't believe that there was actually someone out there who cared for that Loser-lord as much as I could feel that she did. It kind of grossed me out. I focused my energy to feel what was going on in the center of the battlefield. Wow, it was intense. I could feel the ex-Firelord's pulse fading out and I knew that when the lady got there I was in the nick of time. It was probably for the better, I wouldn't like to have to listen to Zuko whine about killing someone. That's just how he is; I guess how everyone human is. So killing his dad really wouldn't be worth the regret he'd feel about it later. The lady yelled out for Zuko to stop, "Let go of him!" she called. I could hear the fear in her voice. Downright genuine fear and anger. Zuko let go of his daddy's throat and I felt a change in him. He was super shocked or something. I figured he must know the woman from somewhere and I was really curious to find out who she was, but I decided to sit back and listen to the situation unfold.

I started to get the feeling that I was trespassing on something that I wasn't meant to be a part of, and I was really glad I couldn't see it. Ozai's pulse and everything started to pick back up and I heard him start breathing heavily. I listened to the woman confirming that he'd be alright. Again, the concern in her voice was sickening and I wondered who the heck she could be anyway.

**Zuko PoV**

My words caught on the tip of my tongue when I saw her there. It couldn't be… How was she here? Why? It-it was her who set him free? I couldn't make sense of it in my head. I sat paralyzed on the stone floor. Until she looked at me. I watched the recognition light up in her eyes. I didn't know what to feel. I was confused and scared and happy and worried and so many other things all at once and she was just as shocked as I was.

"Mom," I said, my voice hitched with even the slightest use.

"Zuko." And next I knew I felt her hug me and I had my mother back. Her embrace was still so familiar. The kind of hug only a mother could give. It was her comforting and loving and understanding and unconditional portrayal of motherly love. I felt a stream of tears run down my face in the disbelief at our reunion that had come so unexpectedly. I felt a pang in my heart when I realized that her first glimpse of me in the past nine years was almost as a murderer.

"Zuko, my son, I'm here."


	12. Lying From You

**Author's Note: Finally, here's this next chapter. Read. Review. I hope you like it, I really do. I have more written that was going to go on this chapter, but I decided to just put it at the beginning of the next chapter because I really wanted to make it good and I need to take more time to perfect it, so this one sort of ends abruptly. Ch. 13 will pick up right where this one leaves off. **

Zuko PoV

The first instant of our reunion had been frozen in time. It was an instant when everything just stopped and nothing mattered except for the simple fact that she was there. My mother was alive. It was the first time I'd seen her in close to a decade; all thanks to the monster that was currently with her in what was once our family's summer home. The frozen moment thawed and the dam over my words broke and nine years of questions and statements that I had saved for her without ever really thinking I'd be able convey poured out of me.

"Mom, I am so sorry. I missed you so much. I can't believe you're here. How long have you been back? Why now? Have you been alright? I'm so, so sorry that you had to leave. It should have been me!" I breathed, closing my eyes and clenching my fists to pull back my emotions. it should have been me. She patted my hair in a long-absent maternal way.

"Zuko, my love, it should have been no other way than what it was. Destiny played out just as it was always meant to, and now fate has led us to be reunited. There will be time for all answers. I assure you, I'm not going anywhere." She smiled an understanding and reassuring smile, the one that crowded my memories. "But first my son, I would like to attend to these wounds." That's when I realized that Father and I were both still blood-splattered. I felt another wave of shame as I thought about how it looked to my mother; her first impression of me in nine years was as a madman about to murder. I still didn't understand why she was even there with Ozai in the first place. Mom rose from where she kneeled over the almost murder scene and said that she would be right back with water and bandages to fix up the wounds that were still bleeding but not fatal.

As soon as she had turned her back, my hating gaze matched Ozai's death glare. He leaned in closer to me to speak.

"You realize that there are things I wish for your mother not to know. If you tell her those things…"

"You'll do what?" I retorted, "Burn me?" I grinned sadistically, thinking ironically of how he could no longer invoke that punishment.

He sneered, his expression painted with hatred. I heard footsteps approach us, Toph was walking over from her previous spot by the door. Ozai smiled triumphantly and nodded at my sister-like friend.

"You can bid farewell to your little friend." He nodded in Toph's direction.

No, he wouldn't-wait, of course he would. Dammit. He had me. I nodded curtly, sourly. I would have tried harder to get around his threat, but I really didn't want to talk about all that had happened with mom, she'll find out in time. On the other hand though, I knew it was going to be really difficult to refrain from telling her certain details. Details about what kind of monster this man had become.

That's when Toph appeared at my side.

"Zuko! Explain. Now." She demanded. Yeah, I was confused too.

"Um, "I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and my finger.

"I thought your mom was dead!" She exclaimed, thrusting her arms into the air in an exasperated way.

"So did I, well, I wasn't sure. I thought maybe not, but-"I sighed heavily. "I don't know."

"Whatever. Sup, Loser Lord." She said to the former Firelord. Ozai glared at her. "I can feel you glaring." Toph started laughing loudly, stepping closer to Ozai.

"Toph?" I asked, a bit worried.

"Haha!" She said, "I can't feel that weirdo heat that you people have radiating from him. Ha. No bending must suck for you, King of Butt-Whoopage."

"Toph, could you not make him angry? Just because he can't bend doesn't mean he's lost his firebender temper."

"What? I'm not scared of him. Are you?"

I looked at my father. Yeah he didn't look that dangerous, but it's not like his muscles were exactly pathetic. He almost defeated me in a no bending match. And then there were my memories. I knew what he was capable of. He was like Azula, just, well…not.

"It would do you both well to be afraid." Ozai said, in a –I won't lie- creepy- manner. Toph made a face and went to kick him, and even though I really wanted to see her do it, I called her off. She stuck her tongue out at me. She had no idea the danger that she could be in.

"Zuko you're no fun."

"Maybe, but I would really rather not have him destroy you." Toph laughed, but she stopped antagonizing her target.

**Ozai PoV**

I hate that he is here. I hate that he brought his dirty little friend along. I hate that he has the power to pull Ursa away. They always had such a strong bond. Now it was eating me away, the worry that he would divulge some information to her. Worries that she would get an idea of just how terrible of a relationship her son and I have had. I wouldn't let him steal her from me. I couldn't let him take her away after I just got her back. He was going to keep his mouth shut. I would make sure of it.

I sunk into bed that night after a steaming bath to wash away the grime that came from battling with Zuko earlier. I sighed as I felt my bones sink into the mattress. The bedroom was relieving after the events of the day. Zuko had taken my warning well throughout the evening and I was pleased, yet still concerned about the next day or the next. How long would he keep up the lies? I was lucky that Ursa was never a prying person. She probably believed that Zuko would tell her anything he needed or wanted to. I opened my resting eyes and crossed my hands behind my head.

"Ursa, come to bed." I called as she sat at her dresser, brushing her hair. So beautiful. She ran another stroke or two through her rich raven hair before crawling into bed with me. I wrapped my arms around her to pull her warm body in closer to me. "It is so good to see Zuko again." I grunted a response, not openly contradicting, but I wouldn't go as far as to agree with the absurd notion. She detached herself from my grip around her and propped herself up on her elbow, looking at me intently like she would always do when she prepared to speak.

"Ozai, what happened?" She asked and I just looked at her. She must be talking about the scar. I knew what he told her. His lie had stated that Zhao burnt him in an Agni Kai over finding the Avatar. Zuko told his mother that I sent him to search for the Avatar as an honorary mission, a privilege. I waited for her to expand upon her statement, maintaining confidence in the lies. "The scar…" She said.

"He told you what happened. Zhao bested him in an Agni Kai."

"I know that's what he said, but somehow, it seemed wrong. I feel like what he said was a…twist on the truth, at most."

"Ursa, why would he lie to you?" She shrugged, still unsure. I tried a new approach. "Well, it is possible he was ashamed of the truth. In all likelihood he was just ashamed to admit that he lost to Zhao. I told you, it was while he was out searching for the Avatar; I was not present at the time. These are answers that escape me."

She hesitated, still obviously not satisfied with the answer. "If you say so," She said, not willing to push the issue further just then. She resumed a more comfortable position to let sleep take her when a thought, or a feeling, occurred to me. I didn't want sleep to take her. She was mine. And with Zuko's appearance, I could not be all so sure that I would have her for too much longer. I could predict the storm coming. I could hold it off but I knew that the sparks would come. But at the moment, I had different kinds of sparks in mind. Ursa had rolled over on her side, another of her characteristics, her silk covered back to me. I wondered if her eyes were open or if she was already falling into sleep. It mattered not to me. If she was too tired to lengthen the night, she would tell me so. But it was rare when she had felt the need to in previous years, I remembered back in our golden days, I would call and she would answer. I never had to fear rejection from her. She always answered. And I intended to remind her of the tradition.

**A/N again: So, you see where this is going? The beginning of the next chapter is gonna be hot. Like, firebender hot. Like, comet hot. No, better…Ozai hot. Yeah. I can't wait to finish writing that. But that's not it, I'm also going to have Azula come around pretty soon. Somebody's gonna get Down with a Sickness later. More fire. More emotions. All that good stuff, so stick around, see you next time.**


	13. Guess Who's Back

**A/N: Okay, if anyone would rather not read a rather mature Ozai/Ursa scene, skip the italics.  
There is a pretty important flashback sort of thing that's not italicized in the middle of the scene that I suggest you read.  
That part is kind of out there, but I felt like making it happen. I thought it made sense. Please review! Thanks for reading this far already!**

_I brushed her bare arm with my fingertips. And again, I repeated the slight, seemingly insignificant movement. She shifted just the slightest bit where she lied. When my fingers ran up her arm again, I stroked the back of her neck. I moved her hair out of my way to better pamper her skin, caressing her neck with my thumb. I could feel her sinking backward into my touch. I placed a hand on her waist and pulled her closer to me in a strong yet gentle movement and I pressed my lips onto the skin at the start of her delicate shoulder. I could feel her shiver. My woman turned over in the bed, facing me. She raised an eyebrow at me, as if she did not already know my desire. She kissed me then, slow and soft, drawing me towards her, ever closer. I withdrew from her sweet lips and began to strip her down. I pulled her silken nightgown down off of her shoulders. Down her figure, revealing her full breasts, her soft curves, her naval._

_I stopped when I saw it; about the size of my hand, the shape of a rough circle. It had happened nearly a year before she left._

"We cannot let this go on." She had said after the two of us were alone one night.

"Azula had every right to push your son off of that bridge. He started it."

"He did not!"

"That's not what Azula said."

"She LIED!" Of course she did. I knew Azula was a compulsive liar. And I knew that the boy had hardly provoked her, but it was my sweet Azula that Ursa was attacking and I was going to defend my daughter.

"She did not! Zuko got what he deserved. It was his fault he could not land properly to prevent breaking his leg and he should know better than to pick a fight with someone better than him. Such as his sister."

"He's only a child, he couldn't have!"

"He should be stronger!"

"Why are you not happy with him? He tries his best! All he wants is to be loved, can you not see that?" She tossed her arms up in frustration and turned on her heel, walking fast toward the door.

I was enraged that she always took her son's side. Enraged that she had insulted my daughter and I so. As she opened the door to leave our room, I mindlessly sent a fire ball in her direction. I half expected it to hit the fire proof door behind her, but I misjudged the speed at which she left the room. In my fury, I had been careless.

_I rested my hand on the one obstruction to her still perfect skin. Tenderly, my lips caressed the scar I gave her. She was the only human I ever showed that side of me. I call it my weak side. She always thought of it as the romantic in me. The side that won her love those many years ago. It was the side that kept her around for so long not because of necessity or standard, not even just for the sex, it was the side that was capable of love. And for so long that part had been lost to me. I hid those feelings away to become indestructible. The master of war that was needed to revive the world. She was the one that reminded me of what I never wanted to know about myself. And she was the one to dig the lover in me out of the grave I dug. _

_I continued slipping off her gown to finally take it and let it fall noiselessly to the floor. I took in the image of her naked body in one lustful glance and I felt an old flame of desire spark within me. Her eyes closed, her arms crossed behind her head, she looked so peaceful, so content. I could never be that way. I would never be so at ease within my mentality, my life. It was not part of who I would always be and had always been, but it was her. Ursa. She was such a different creature from myself and so…so something. A concept that I could never grasp; what it was that described her. _

_I undressed urgently without peeling my gaze from the beautiful body that ever so patiently awaited my touch. She looked at me from under heavy eyelids and I met her alluring gaze, a slight, sultry smile decorated her lips as my hands methodically spread her legs. "Are you tired?" I asked her softly. She nodded in an apologetic way. "Too tired for this?" I asked with a knowing edge in my voice. I didn't give her time to respond before I seduced her in a more straightforward manner. Any other night I would have taken more time and pleasured her more fully, but I had been deprived of her for far too long. I relished her sharp gasp as my fingers stroked and probed in a hasty preparation. I could then tell that already, she was more aroused than I had expected and the same anticipation that I read in her had long since mounted in me. Her eyes had stayed mostly shut throughout the entire time of my seduction of her, yet they opened wide in pleasant surprise as she felt me enter her fully. Wallowing in her moans I went down on her consistently. I felt as if those nine years of her absence were banished from history as we relived the events of so many nights from our better years. Her arms wrapped around my neck to press against me and I lodged even deeper, steadily going faster inside of her. We danced to the sounds of our breaths mingling with our other vocalizations of our sex. The urgency of the movements heightened in a perfect correlation with the pitch of Ursa's moans until the moment came when a wave of satisfaction washed over us. Both panting after the orgasm hit, we were pleased but I knew still not satisfied. The whole night thereafter was dedicated to our lost time._

**Toph PoV **

I woke up in the same room that I slept in back before we took down Loser-lord and his forces. I didn't let them know, but I heard it when Ozai told Zuko that I was his target if Zuko stepped out of line. I couldn't stand that! I wasn't gonna let that hog-monkey use me against Zuko like that! I got dressed and everything and went out of my room to go find Zuko's mom. There was something I needed to tell her.

I found Ursa in the courtyard sitting by the fountain. "Hey Zuko's mom," I said.

"Good morning Toph. Is something wrong?" I shrugged. Yeah it was.

"Sorta, yeah. It's about Zuko and his Dad." She sighed kinda heavily. Good. She was smarter than I thought.

"What about them?"

"Welllll, it's probably not my place to say, but I know Zuko and I know that there's a lot more to some of the stuff that he's telling you."

"What do you mean?"

"You gotta know that Zuko's not telling you everything. It's not like he's Azula-good at lying."

Ursa nodded shortly and I knew that she knew what I meant.

"I'll go talk to him."

"Definitely."

**Zuko PoV**

My fire dissipated and reappeared again and again as I practiced my forms. I hated not having a target to hit while I practiced. It's so much harder to hit the air. I was bending to practice. Left fist. I was bending because it was my daily routine. Right side kick. I was bending to vent. Crescent kick. The frustration that I held on to inside of me was about to boil over. Should I tell mom all those things? Maybe I could tell her and Father would never know. Maybe he wouldn't hurt Toph after all. Axe kick. I didn't know how to bring it up. Hey, Mom, nothing you've learned about me in the past day has been true. I groaned aloud to myself. Why am I so bad at people! I fought my way over to one of the big stone columns and began to attack it. A fist there, a kick there. Fire everywhere. I let myself drown in the sounds of mock combat. My knuckles began to bleed more with every smack to the stone. The roar of my fire flooding the air was medicinal to my thoughts. This was what I needed. Aang would meditate in silence or call upon his past lives. I would vent through physical exertions. Relying on what I felt in my heart, imagining what Uncle would do so I could emulate his actions, imagining what Azula or my father would do so I could strive for the opposite.

"Zuko, I need to talk to you." I heard my mother's voice and I finished one last sidekick as I acknowledged her presence.

"Yeah, of course, what is it?" The back of my hand wiped sweat off of my face and I turned to give her all my attention.

"Something isn't right. Zuko, I feel like there is something you aren't telling me." I almost smiled through the irony. No, not at all.

"You have no idea." I muttered the phrase under my breath, not really caring if she heard me or not.

"Then tell me," She pleaded, "I need to know. Zuko, you have no reason to keep anything at all from me." I was doubtful. I didn't want to shatter her images, whatever they were, of the man that was reluctantly my father.

"I don't think that's true."I said, seeing if she would just drop it. She had me look into her best motherly glare and I knew she wasn't going to give this up so easily. I could see where I got my determination from. She stood waiting for my explanation, willing me to speak. I decided there probably wouldn't be a better time any too soon to tell her the truth. I took a deep, centering breath, looking into her eyes. I was only going to say it all once and I needed her to believe my every word.

"I lied to you. I didn't want to, but_ he_ didn't give me a choice. He said that if I told you too much, he'd hurt Toph."

"What are you talking about?" I let out an aggravated sigh. She was not going to like this.

"He banished me. I was thirteen. Iroh went with me on a nearly impossible search to find the Avatar. Finding Aang and taking him back to the Fire Nation was my chance at redemption. I had to find him so that Father would restore my honor. That's what I thought back then anyway. During my journey, I did fight Zhao in an Agni Kai, but he didn't burn me, I won. I already had my scar when I fought him." I paused to decipher what she was thinking. She was concentrating on my every word, waiting for me to finish my explanation. "Just before I was banished I spoke out of turn in a war meeting. I didn't agree with the plan that the general proposed. It was wrong, but apparently I was more wrong for saying so. I accepted the Agni Kai thinking that it would be no big deal. The general was old and weak. But I was in the royal war room when I spoke out-" I waited, wondering if she would understand. Maybe she knew what I had not known. She gasped, placing her hand consolingly on my shoulder.

"Zuko, you- you don't mean to say that your father burnt you in an Agni Kai?" I nodded. "You were thirteen?" I nodded again.

I watched emotions pass over her features. I saw abhorrence, sadness, anger, frustration, hate, love, and then sympathy all run together within her. She couldn't believe it, and then she could, and she did, and she knew. And she so didn't want to. But she did. I didn't even want to think about what would have happened if she didn't believe me. I couldn't have taken it if she would have sided with _him_. I hated that she had to hear it, but I was so relieved to have her know.

"Mom, you have to realize that this…family, if that's what we have, cannot be happy. We'll never all be able to even be in the same room together. When he made you leave, love went with you, completely. I'd hate watching you try to bring it back, because it won't work. Mom, he hates me and he always has and I don't think he can change that. Not even for you."

I watched her, hoping that my words hadn't crushed her dreams about our family or whatever too harshly. At first she just shook her head like she was trying to shake off my words. Then something came into her expression. I understood what was behind that look and I understood my mother. It was that determination again. It was the willfulness, the sense of mental direction that she had passed on to me. I knew then that no matter how much of an impossible quest this task of hers seemed to be, she was not going to back down until every last invisible possibility had died.

"Zuko, I know that we can never be a picture perfect family. I know we have our ailments. Each of our scars effect every one of us." Her smile was so understanding, so good. "It will be a long, long way to happiness; we may never make it to the end of the road. But I am going to try. Please, Zuko, I need you to help me. I know that it will be difficult to forgive and forget about the past, but we all have to." I listened to her words like I was a little kid again, listening to her telling me about why I shouldn't hurt the turtle ducks. I yearned to soak in the information she had gained from all her years before me and as so, I listened as if my life depended on me knowing her words, because I felt that it did. She continued, "I know how hard it can be. I learned firsthand the literal truth behind the old adage; play with fire and you will get burnt. You and I both did learned that truth the hard way. It happens, but we have to move on."

Wait, I knew that Ozai had hurt my mother the most emotionally. But there seemed like there was something more to it, the way she said "literal truth", it made me feel like something else had happened, something I didn't know about. If you play with fire you will get burnt. She married the fire master, controlled by a long lived arrogance and rage. What else had happened before she left?

"Mom, what are _you_ talking about?" Then the thought occurred to me, a horrific question that I had to know the answer to. "Did- did he burn you?" I already knew the answer as soon as I asked. How could she have lasted in an intimate relationship with him for so long without being burnt? It wouldn't be possible to get so close to that monster without suffering the consequences. She looked away and I could tell she regretted telling me so much. She nodded, but I didn't need the confirmation. I knew that she wanted me to help her bring our family together. I knew that somehow, for some absurd reason she had already forgiven that bastard, but I couldn't do it.

It would have been fine if it was just me I had to try to forgive him for. But he burned Mom! I thought she was the only one he could potentially be more or less civil to. The fact that he had done that to her, not to mention banish her, convinced me that my mother's ideals of replenishing our family were completely absurd. And it convinced me just how much I hated that man, that thing. What woman in her right mind would be able to love that? My mother deserves so much better than him. Would she not be better off if he were gone? I was so, so angry. No one had the power to build up such hate, such anger in me that he did. He was the only thing on this world I would always hate so passionately. I didn't think any more. My rising anger didn't leave any room for thinking in my mind. Just as I went to storm out of the room to go find that man, he appeared, blocking my way into the rest of the house.

"What is going on here?" The last syllable had hardly left his lips when my knuckles smashed into his vile, arrogant jaw. Before I could do anything else, I found myself pushed backward by a hard force and landed flat on my back on the stone floor. What the- I looked up to see Toph standing in between myself and my- Ozai.

"Stop it! You two bashing each other's brains out isn't going to do anything but land me and your mom here with two dead bodies and a murder scene." Toph held her arms out, keeping distance between Ozai and I after earthbending us out of what would have been, what could still be, another nasty fight. I saw that he too had recovered enough from the sudden blow to sit up. I yelled out.

"How could you burn her! You monster! You –" But my words were lost as a new sound altogether came from the front entrance. Oh no. It was a somewhat controlled, somewhat hysterical cackle of a laugh. It was a voice I knew, one we all knew. What was she doing here? She appeared among us, adding to the tension, the drama. Could this situation get any worse, I thought as Azula marched into the room.


	14. Insane in the Membrane

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, what with AP tests and EOCTS and all that stuff, I've been focusing on school and my school doesn't get out until June 11, so sorry for the wait. Also, I wanted to make this chapter reallllly good because of how, well, you'll see. I had to make it so it didn't move too fast because then it'd be like, "wait, what?" But I couldn't put too much filler…it's been a tricky one, I really hope you guys all like it. And, thanks for the reviews still coming! I hold no rights to anything related to Avatar: The Last Airbender, or the characters involved in my fictional after story.**

**Zuko PoV**

"Azula!" How did she get out?

"No, it's the Boogey Man. I missed you too, Zuzu." Sarcastic as ever, she flounced toward us like she owned the very ground she walked on.

"Why are you here?"

"Really, Zuko you must work on your manners. I'm just stopping by..." That's when she caught sight of Mom. I saw her eyes widen in surprise for the split second before she found her flawless composure again. "Hello Mother. I suspected you were here." My mother's face was calculating and unreadable as she watched the scene unravel and I noticed how tense she was. She understood as I did that something abnormal was going on with Azula's sudden appearance and I was glad that she was so alert. It would make it hard for Azula to land a surprise attack on her. Or so I hoped. I was ready for any of her off the wall tricks, it wasn't like before. I was smarter, better, and faster than I had been. I saw that Ozai and Toph were just as shocked as my mother and I; no one really knew what to do about Azula showing up.

"How did you get out of prison?"

She shrugged and I knew she was going to be coy about it, as was her way.

"They let me out. I was a very good girl. Is that so hard to believe, my dear brother?"

"Yes," actually. I didn't believe her. That's about when she decided that she didn't feel like having a conversation with me and turned to the rest of the room. I could tell that she was no saner than she had been the day of her supposed coronation, just stable enough to cover it up. I figured that to get out of her imprisonment she must have either murdered, been a splendid actress, slept with whoever the warden was, or just have been too much chaos for them to handle. Probably all of the above.

"Hello Father. It's good to see someone of standard around here. Oh, speaking of which," her voice took a derogatory tone as her gaze landed on Toph, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I know you're not talking to me like that you fire bitch!"

"Well maybe you'd know that I was in fact addressing you if you could see me looking straight at you, dust bunny."

"Dust bunny this!" Toph shot back, taking an offensive earth bending stance. Azula shifted into her own countering stance, ready to turn my friend into a toasted Toph.

"Girls, stop it!" My mother shouted, stepping in between the two belligerents. She separated them with two swelling wheels of fire emitting from both of her outstretched palms. "No fighting," She ordered in a surprisingly effective maternal reprimanding tone, "I mean it." She gave each of them an identical glare. After a slight hesitation, each of the girls relaxed their stances and faced away from each other; arms crossed and bottom lips protruding. Satisfied with the reaction, Mom let her fire fade out, but kept her position between the two girls.

"Azula, it is good to see that you are well." I rolled my eyes at my father who intervened in an attempt to shift the situation from having his daughter look like the raging lunatic that she was.

"Same to you father. Yet I feel sorry for this…company you have apparently been forced to mingle with lately." I knew that she was mostly talking about Toph and me, but it seemed like her words had a slightly larger purpose. She was trying to see how his connections with mom were. She wanted to know if he would side with mom over her. Ozai just looked away, not saying anything one way or another. Of course he loved his precious, perfect daughter over his traitorous, wayward wife and son, didn't he?

Azula looked away and it was obvious that she was not satisfied with his answer, or, lack thereof, but she was apparently dismissing it for the time being.

"No matter." She turned back towards me, "Zuzu, I must admit I'm a bit surprised you haven't offered me tea yet. At least that old fuddy-duddy you adore so much has an inkling of etiquette to his name. If you don't mind, save yourself some honor and make some tea. Father and I have some catching up to do."

That's when I realized that she would keep directing her interactions towards Ozai because he was something that had been stable in her life. To involve herself with either my treachery or with the mother she felt could never be pleased would tip her over the edge. Her mask would fall past her oh so perfect control. She had a perfect façade that masqueraded as strength and power but was truly a guise of madness. But I still couldn't see why she was here. If she had been looking for father, then she must have found information from the Warden. Likewise if she had been looking for me. She hadn't seemed to know that mother was going to be here with us, and even she did she wouldn't have been looking for her. I assumed she probably wanted to talk with Ozai and work with him to organize a rebellion to my reign as firelord. Actually, I hoped that was her motive, because that was something obvious. If she had come for any other reason, it could be much more dangerous.

Then Mom stepped up to move along the conversation.

"Azula, you are absolutely right," she began, "how rude of us all. Zuko, would you please do the honors of putting on some hot tea?" I was surprised to hear her say this, but she looked at me in a way that sort of asked me to humor the situation.

"Sure, of course." And I breathed out in relief as I turned my back from the overwhelming family reunion to walk into the familiar kitchen.

**Azula PoV**

That's when I saw my chance. Yes. The whole reason I came here and it was going to be so, so easy. Of course mother wouldn't be happy, but she would never be happy with me anyway, the monster child. However, I knew that father would be pleased after I did this. The only reason why he hadn't done it himself was because he'd lost his bending. I was sure of it. Once again I relished the thought of becoming an only child. A world without Zuko would be just that much closer to perfect. After Zuko is gone, father and I will redefine the Fire Nation monarchy completely. I acted fast, Zuko was about to walk through the door. Quickly I took notice of my surroundings; nothing was going to mess this up. Father was the closest to me, having walked closer since I first arrived. Mother was a few yards to my left; the crummy earthbender was far enough away to not be a problem, like she could do anything anyway. I had to use fire, not lightning. Don't ask me to explain it; I just wasn't going to use my usual lightning method to kill my brother. It'd already been done anyway. I summoned my fire into my fingers, preparing to strike. It was a clear shot. No time to waste. I grinned as I thought about what good I was about to do. Sorry it had to end this way mother, that I had to take away your perfect one. I heard my mother gasp when she saw what I was doing, but it was too late. She yelled out to him, a terrible sound of her terror as she called his name just egged me on.

The rest of the scene seemed to flow by in slow motion as my fire entered the transition state between being in my command and at the will of nature. Through the sapphire flames I saw my brother begin to turn around at the sound of his name, he heard my fire coming at him, still turning. Slow motion, but too fast for him to dodge it, he had no chance to get out of this one. No waterbender here to save him. My fire had just begun its passage through the space that was between Zuko and I. It was going to kill him. The first shot, then I would finish burning him alive. That was his destiny. Then my vision of Zuko was blocked altogether. All I could see was my blue fire rebounding off of an intercepting body. A mutinous, understood shock filled the whole room as all expected Zuko to finally finish be fried, but something else had happened, something that wasn't supposed to…

I heard smoldering flesh and a hiss of pain, the blur of the obstruction grabbed my arms through my fire and went against the burns. Rage and bewilderment overcame me as I realized what had happened. No. Why- it didn't make any sense! I stumbled backward as Father shoved me away, too shocked to act on my anger.

Zuko stood facing Father and I, his face completely drained of color. The earthbender had gone to him as soon as she realized what was going on and she reflected his expression of shock. Mother stood, undecided between Zuko and Ozai, not wanting to cost either their life, her eyes were fixed on my like a stealthy feline who had found her prey. Were they all against me now?

"What, what do you mean by this? Father, y-you choose them, over me?" I searched his face, looking for some reassuring sign, some reason, something to explain the madness. Did I miscalculate, what went wrong? He wouldn't look at me. Just at the fresh burns developing on his arms. Well, it's his own fault he was burned. He shouldn't have pulled that stunt. "Father, tell me why! Why did you protect him? He was supposed to die!"

"I could not let you kill your brother, Azula." His voice was cold and sharp, cutting me deep into my being. I couldn't understand it. I could not understand it at all.

"But why? I thought you hated him! Do you not want to regain your rightful power? I can- I can get your bending back. Everything, we can rule the world. Father, you and I can spread the glory of the Fire Nation! Would Zuko do that? Could Mother do that? They worthless to you!"

"Azula, I will not have this from you." Finally he turned to look at me. "You have no such ability of which you speak. Zuko must live for reasons that you cannot understand. Reasons that I am just now seeing."

What was he saying? He took a step backward, closer to Zuko, to Mother. No- my heart sunk, he _was_ actually siding with them. I couldn't believe it. Mother stepped forward, holding her hands out like I was some dangerous wounded animal.

"Azula, calm down, you don't need all that power. Zuko does not have to die for you to live. Come to us Azula, it's the only-"

"NO, you're wrong! How can you step in and say things like that, you don't know anything about this family, about me, about Zuko! You don't love me, stop acting like you want me in your family because you don't!"

"Azula, no, I love you."

"That's a lie! Are-are you even really there?" I felt the hysteria coming on and the same confusion that I'd been struggling with for months in confinement stirred up inside of me. What if-what if she wasn't even there, like those other times in the place? Every time I would tell her to go away, the nurses or whatever they were would tell me that no one was there. They gave me medicine, I still saw her. They tried to talk to me, I still saw her. Then just after she had started to go away, she was back again. Back to ruin what was left of me.

No, I heard them all talking, crowding the space inside my head. It was her voice along with so many others, ones I did and didn't recognize; nameless, faceless voices. I clapped my hands over my ears, anything to stop all the voices. I remembered how sometimes it had gotten so bad that to sleep was the only way not to hear them and have them overcome me. My hysterics had me topple onto my knees, losing all track of my surroundings. Somehow I could hear my own voice over all the others screaming in discombobulated agony. I rocked back and forth on the floor, holding my knees for support. Go away, go away, go away! No more voices, no more people telling me these things. I wanted them all gone, out of my head. Somehow I could tell that I was crying. It had never been this bad before, not in all my months of being so afflicted. I was not meant to be like this, I was supposed to be perfect. Perfect people don't have these problems. Wailing in my desperation I collapsed onto the floor. No, somebody, somebody end it. I heard more voices coming from outside my head mingling with the others. The new voices were loud and familiar shouts, but I couldn't place who they belonged to. One rang through, "We have to do something," he said. He, it was a male voice that I recognized, Zuko, it was Zuko. I had to try to reach him. He would do it; he would end it for me. "Zuko!" I shouted the name. "Zuko, stop them! Take it away, Zuko. Please! Please! End it!" I felt someone grab me, holding down my spasmodic form. "No," I writhed against the restraint. Something, do something. "Zuko, Kill Me! I shouted. Could he hear me? Would he do it? "Please!" I begged him to take it away, to make it all stop. No, he was taking too long. I could barely see, everything was dark and blurry. My head ached so terribly, I couldn't endure it much longer. I reached out. It had to be somewhere, something that I was looking for. There, I grabbed it from wherever it was, taking the hilt in my hand. I steadied my shaking arms, still not able to see the world. I felt the metal tip on my skin. There, that was the spot I needed. No more, no more, finally it would end. My shame, my hate, it would all end here. Quickly I took the blade and shoved it into my heart. The voices faded away, one by one as my life blood flowed out of my body. I felt the world fall out from under me as I entered true peace.

**Zuko PoV**

"No, no," I muttered. "Azula." My sister was evil, but to see her die like that, I didn't want to see her die at all. A tear streamed down my good eye. I couldn't believe it. And what about before, she kept yelling about making the voices or something go away? The whole thing was shocking, but somehow, her death was a lot more believable than what triggered her insanity to overcome her.

I turned my attention to my Father, who was kneeling down on the other side of his daughter's still bleeding body. What he did was truly unbelievable. Did he- did he actually save my life? I looked at the burns on his arms. Those burns were almost more scars of my own, but he prevented it. It was for Mom, that was obvious, but until now I thought for sure that he would rather have me dead than be with her. But I guess that wasn't the case. He would even save my life to hold onto my mother. Mom bent down over Azula and I saw that she was crying for her. Delicate tears that seemed to say there could have been such goodness there. But not everyone could be helped. Not everyone would find the right way. Especially not Azula who was so wired in her way of thinking. She could never abandon her ideals about the Fire Nation and about the people of the world. I guess this was the way it needed to happen, if not really like that. I pulled my sword out of my sister's chest, carefully. The sensation of mourning filled the whole house as we all felt the impact of Princess Azula's loss.

Toph came and sat down next to me. "She's gone now," she let us know. So that was it, all the life had left her. Hopefully she was able to escape whatever turmoil was attacking her before she got so desperate that she had to die to be rid of it. Mom gave her daughter's lifeless form a parting kiss on her forehead. I looked away, feeling like to watch that interaction would be incredibly intrusive on my part, for some reason. Then I felt my mom wrap her arms around me and I hugged her back. She broke away to do likewise to Toph. I rested my hand on Toph's shoulder. I would hate to be able to feel the dying drift away like that. I looked on as Mom walked over to Father, who stood up from his place of initial mourning for his daughter.

She embraced him and how he returned it was the most loving gesture I had ever seen him do, I didn't know he was capable of such a thing.

"Thank you for saving our son." I heard her say. He held her tighter, substituting the action for any words that he could not think to say.

**A/N: Okay, I really hope you liked it, if not then too bad because there's really not much I can do about it now. Umm, I want to make sure everyone caught that Azula couldn't use lightning to kill Zuko for almost the same reason that Zuko couldn't master lightning when Iroh was trying to teach it to him in the series. (Her inner turmoil and obvious insanity). **

**For the next chapter, everyone remembers when Zuko freed Appa and got so spiritually confused that he got sick? Well a parallel of that is going to happen. **

**I have a question. Would you guys like to have Katara and Sokka and Aang enter into the story? What about Suki? And Appa, and Momo. Tell me what you think!**


	15. Nightmares and Newcomers

**A/N: Sorry about it being nearly a month before I posted this chapter, I had a lot of school stuff going on, but we just got out on summer break and I hope to be writing a ton to make up for my school time procrastinations. I'll make this quick so ya'll can just go ahead and finally read the chapter, I, Taurus3rockergirl, do not own any of the characters or other part of the world of Avatar as created by Mike and Bryan. (Nor do I own Harry Potter or Skillet, as I quote both in this upcoming chapter) Enjoy and Review! =)**

_**Neither can live while the other survives…**_

**Ozai PoV**

"That's not true. You did the right thing."

"Then why do I- why do I feel like this?"

"It's only natural. Honey, I promise. It just means you're human."

"No…" That seemed wrong. Perhaps Ursa was right, maybe this was just a side effect of being human. If that was the case, I wanted no part of it. Still, somehow I felt that there was something more to it than mediocre human emotions coming into play.

I could not believe that it had happened as I looked down at the fresh burns on my arms, finding the proof that all had indeed occurred as I remembered it, however surreal it seemed to be. I protected Zuko. The consequence was the death of my daughter. Did it really have to be that way? Of course it did. Those two never could coexist. I just never thought it would be a consequence of any action of mine that would spare Zuko where Azula would be dealt the short hand.

Azula. Death by suicide. I never would have suspected such a thing, not from her. She had always been the _right_ one. She and I would have ruled the nation, no, the world, as no one else could, and I had given all of that up. No, I hadn't, it was all taken from me. But do my recent actions not mean that I am giving it up now, for Ursa?

I shut my eyes against the light of the setting sun parallel to the open veranda and leaned against the wooden wall post. Suddenly I felt exhausted, overwhelmed. Absentmindedly, I brushed the back of my hand across my forehead and felt a cool dampness on my skin. What was it, rain? No, that made no sense, sweat. It must be sweat. But I felt cold; I needed to shut the door against the biting draft. In my mind I stepped forward in the direction that must have been towards the big open shutters and the melted orange light flooding the room. I felt myself sway, my vision fading to black then to blurred colors of the room around me.

Distantly I heard my wife's voice calling my name, cutting through the haze. I felt her warm hand on my arm as my thoughts stretched and twisted. What was this pinprick feeling along my limbs, spreading through my chest? I vaguely noticed the sensation fade away until I felt nothing at all. I could no longer see or feel except for the dizzy discombobulating of my mind.

**Ursa PoV**

I kneeled down by my husband's recently collapsed form, the familiar feeling of concern churning my insides. What had caused this- whatever this was? I moved my hand down his arm in what would be a comforting way to feel his pulse; it was quick, but not dangerously so. Multiple beads of sweat had already formed at his feverish forehead. His eyes were loosely shut and lips slightly parted, breathing erratic and heavy.

"Ozai, my love, can you hear me?" No response, he was out cold.

"Mom, I just sent that letter that I told you about, they should-," Zuko followed his voice into the threshold of the master bedroom and his words drifted away, "Oh." He fell silent as he took in the curious scene.

"Zuko, he just, collapsed. He was fine only minutes ago and then…" I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger as I so often did under pressing situations. My son kneeled down beside me to feel his father's head and check his pulse as I had done moments before. I was about to speak again when Zuko cut through the silence, a decisive knowledge edged his voice.

"This is a reaction to what he did when he stopped Azula. Protecting me at all, let alone from her, was so against his image of himself that he is facing a sort of internal spiritual crisis. He'll be sick and most likely have terrible nightmares until he comes out of this. But when he does, well, maybe he'll be a much better person. I don't know for sure what will happen with him since he's so far gone, but it won't be pretty. It'll be a miserable experience for him to go through, but if it turns out like it should, it'll be worth it." I took a second to let Zuko's words sink in. A spiritual crisis, a better person, it'll be worth it…

"What do you mean by he's so far gone?"

"Okay, I went through this same thing once when I saved the Avatar's bison, uh, it's a long story, but anyway I had it pretty bad because of how set my mind was on what should be. I was supposed to capture the Avatar to restore my honor. He and I were to be mortal enemies, no matter what. Helping him in any way, shape, or form was completely out of the question. So this is going to be really hard on Father because of how long his mind has been set on everything he just denied in his actions." I nodded, that made sense. "I think Iroh went through something like this too," Zuko continued, "after Lu-Ten died and he abandoned the siege on Ba Sing Se. He never really said if he did or not, but he was able to help me through mine so much, I don't think it's possible that he hadn't had the experience firsthand."

"Do you think we should call for Iroh then? There's also the cremation ceremony that was supposed to be today, but with all this…"

"I already took care of it. I sent a letter to Uncle last night just after all the action had, uh, quieted down a bit. I mean, he doesn't know about this," He gestured to Ozai's fallen form, "yet, and I don't think it'd be necessarily good for Father to see Uncle here, it might upset him more."

"You're most likely right about that. It could possibly do more harm than good for Ozai to know that Iroh would be seeing him like this."

"And, one more thing, I sent letters to a few friends that knew Azula, I think they would want to be at the cremation. You remember Mai and Ty Lee?"

**Ozai PoV**

_I hate feeling like this, so tired of trying to fight this. I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking up to you._

I was at the bottom of a bottomless pit. I had fallen down into a never-ending tunnel with no sight of light in the distance. I was completely alone. And I was useless. My mind had lost control of my appendages and I had no understanding of what was up or down. I had just as much of a sense of time as my sense of direction. Was I asleep? No, sleep was more peaceful than this forced state of comatose. My mind formed images from the surrounding blackness. I could see shapeless colors that would morph into recognizable forms. Her face crept into my subconscious again and again. The gleam of her eyes in my mind caused an injustice to the reality that was the angel of my world. Time after time I believed that I could feel her soothing hand touch my arm, Her fingers brushed my skin so lightly, as if it was the gentle wing of a dove flitting across the wind. Though my ears were incapacitated, her voice formed in my mind religiously. I heard her call out to me, saying my name like it was the most precious word under the eternal sun.

The colors shifted again and Ursa was consumed by the darkness as I saw another shape begin to form. Fire erupted from the bowels of the dark space and within a few tense seconds I saw my own face looking back at me. The self that I envisioned looked young and powerful, at his- my prime. He stood on a pedestal of fire, and something dangerous flashed within his eyes. He was invincible, but to be so, he had rid himself of all human emotions, all except for those concerning power and pride. This was the man who would set fire to his own son's face. The fire rose threateningly high until there was no more black space in my lack of vision. The hues of reds and oranges contorted and swirled to form another image, my figure still the center of the dark illustration. The tendrils of flame formed the shape of a woman and as the colors turned into human shades I could see that it was again Ursa appearing in my mind. She was beside my apparently thriving figure and a curious flame danced around her shoulders, her neck, behind her head and up to my outstretched arm. The aforementioned flame lost its luster and became an obvious rope, a noose strung around my wife's slender neck, and I held it ever so proudly as she hung.

A young Zuko ran onto the morbid scene while the Ursa of my vision had her life leave her. Zuko flew to his mother and pulled her into a one sided embrace, her arms limp by her side. The boy's form turned to my own representative with a look of hate and vengeance plastered onto his unmarred face. With horror I watched as a deep red liquid began to flow out of his left eye. Before long, thick red blood streamed out of the pores of the left side of his face, causing him to be drowned by the fluids with the cacophony of the catastrophic gurgling sound.

**Zuko PoV**

I swear a trail had begun to appear in the wooden flooring from my constant pacing of the last hour. I guess that anything really can happen, I never would have thought that _he _of all people would be able to go through that sickness. Well, maybe he won't. Maybe he won't make it through the change and it'll be too much for him and he'll just die. But maybe he won't. I guess it's possible that it will actually work with him. But what will it be like afterwards? Is he going to just be some happy tea-making perfect father figure? Will he become the perfect husband that he never was able to be? Will he actually become a human with real human feelings and grow a heart, a soul?

I was pacing near the door as I waited for Mai and Ty Lee to show up, as I was sure that they would be the first arrivals. I contacted them first, and then I sent other letters to Uncle, Aang, and one to Katara, Sokka and Suki.

"Hey Sparky! You're making me dizzy can't you just stand still for like two seconds?"

"Oh, sorry Toph." I stopped in my tracks to face my earthy friend. I had already filled her in on everything that had happened with Ozai and she was with me when I wrote the letters and sent them out to their prospective receivers. Now we just had to wait for someone to show up or something to happen.

About that time, I heard three evenly spaced knocks on the wooden door. That must be them. As soon as I had opened the big double doors, I felt the familiar over ecstatic bundle of giggles that was Ty Lee fling her arms around my neck in a flurry of an ungodly amount of pink.

"Zuko! I missed you! I haven't seen you in SO long!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too," I said, prying her off of me. "Hey, Mai."

"Yeah, hi," She said in her typically monotone way, observing the house as she stepped across the threshold.

I heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and I looked to see my mother walking into the foyer, emptied water bucket in hand.

"Mom, Mai and Ty Lee just got here." As if on cue, Ty Lee executed one of her perfect handsprings over to the bottom of the stairs just as Mom reached the last step.

"Hey Ursa! You're alive! And you're here! Like wow, it is SO cool to see you again! You look great by the way."

"Oh Ty Lee, it's great to see you again too," and Mom hugged Ty Lee like she was her own daughter. By that time Mai and I had walked over to the two. "Mai, you've grown up so nicely," she said, turning her attention to my current girlfriend. Mom pulled her into a welcomed embrace.


	16. Some of Them Want to Be Abused

**Author's Note: I haven't exactly been keeping track of the time and all, so I hope it didn't take too long for me to post this chapter. I've been posting a new story that is completely different from this one, it's pretty short and it's kind of a comedy, I'd love it if you all would check out "What Had Happened Was" and I have an idea for an Urzai one-shot/drabble thing based on Tears Don't Fall by Bullet for My Valentine, I'm really looking forward to writing that. I just want to make a note that for those of you on Deviantart, Zutara week is the last week of July! Okay, who's going to say my disclaimer this time?**

**Me: Hey, Blue Spirit, put your hand down, you don't talk! …..Same for you Longshot! **

**Toph: I got this. Taurus3rockergirl doesn't own my a** or any one of us here. She doesn't own the rights to anything related to Avatar: The Last Airbender. This is a nonprofit fanfic, just for fun kind of story. There, that good enough?**

**Me: Thank you Toph, I couldn't have said it better myself.**

**Toph: Got that right. Yep. I'm the best =)**

**Me: Yep, you rock.**

**Mai PoV**

So she really was alive. Lady Ursa, I mean. I never was sure of what happened to her after the incident. I would often listen to my politically driven parents speak of what kinds of consequences would come for what kinds of different treasonous acts, sometimes they'd gossip about Zuko and Azula's dysfunctional royal family. So I had my sources and my theories, but I never expected to actually see Ursa again. Zuko must be so awed to be with her again. Zuko had explained about how she rescued Ozai from the prison and brought him here, about Azula's arrival and her suicide, and his dad's part in it. Sounds like it's been pretty exciting here, of course I missed out on all the fun.

I always knew someone would die soon enough. With all of the stuff we were a part of in the war and everything, but I hadn't really thought that we would all live to what would be this new era to die when it began. But it makes sense the more I think about it. Azula could not have lived under Zuko's reign. If she hadn't died, somehow everything would go back to how it was before. She would have killed us all and burned down the world like they were going to do.

They fixed up her damage alright. I guess it was Ursa who cleaned her up and dressed her in the ceremonial white robes. Zuko and his mother went through the process to preserve her body until she could be cremated. It's this kind of disgusting goo extracted from some herb used to make it so dead bodies aren't rotting and rancid while they wait to be properly disposed of. So Azula's corpse should be good for a good 40 more hours or something like that.

I stood by the altar on which she lied, I guess in mourning of her. I can't say that she was the most amazing friend, or the greatest person. But she wouldn't want to be remembered as any of those things. She was amazing. She was a prodigy. She was too…extraordinary for this ordinary world. Larger than life, Azula. Perfection was her imperfection. And she was dead now. I looked on at her stark white skin, her almost peacefully shut eyes. Her hair was down and absolutely beautiful. Death looked good on her, she wore the white well. But it still looked out of place after she was such a lively person.

Just about then, I heard a loud knock on the door. I guess that would be Ty Lee wanting to come in and pay her solitary respects to our late leader.

"Come on Ty Lee, I'm done."

"Thanks Mai." She walked past me, her eyes downcast. Her _aura_ seemed a lot less giddy today. I knew that she would miss Azula the most. They were actually really close. Oh well, she'll get over it.

**Ty Lee PoV**

My heart really sunk when I saw Azula's motionless body lying on the stone table. It didn't suit her at all. She used to have those lively eyes; you could see her inner fire bubbling over from her soul in them. When she was alive she had such rosy cheeks, such nice color, lovely skin. But she was even beautiful dead. I caressed her exposed hand with my own. She was so cold. Never before had I touched her without her being just plain warm. It was that firebender thing. She shouldn't be this cold, this lifeless. What was it that Mai had called her, vivacious. I let my tears fall onto her vampire like skin freely, but wiped them off so they wouldn't disrupt her sleep. I fell to my knees to get closer to her body and I wrapped my arms around her as softly as I could, barely touching her. This would be the last hug I would give her. It was the only hug that she could not return.

She was gone now, and I never would be able to get one of her hugs again. I used to- used to, that's so damn depressing- love her hugs so much, she gave them best. I know that she used me, but I let her. I wanted her to, it's what she needed me for, and it was so good to be needed. I was always glad to help her, except when it got out of control and I betrayed her. I betrayed her when she needed us the most and it might have even caused this. If I hadn't paralyzed her when I was trying to do the right thing and just followed her like I had always done, maybe it would have happened differently. Maybe we could have been something more. And she would still be alive. But she wasn't alive, not anymore.

Leaning over her, I imagined that this was one of those times that she was sleeping and I had fallen asleep in her bed with her. I used to give her this wake up call, it was our thing. At first she would pretend to get mad at me, but then it just became one of those things that we would do. I would kiss her as she slept; a solid, tender kiss on her lips. Sometimes she would even wake up returning the gesture. But that would never happen again. I kissed her beautiful lips like I had done all those times before. Something inside of me was still hoping that I would feel some kind of life in her and that she'd wake up. But of course she didn't. I sunk down onto the floor by her side and my overactive emotions went totally out of control. I sat by Azula wailing as I flooded the floor around me with my heavy tears. Trying to hold on to some kind of life, I balled my hands into fists so tight my nails dug into my flesh so far I almost bled.

**Zuko PoV**

Walking by the door where Ty Lee had previously entered to spend a moment with Azula, I heard a sound that was extremely disconcerting to me. Was Ty Lee crying? I couldn't help but listen to her. I thought maybe I should go and try to comfort her or something, but I felt like that would be too intrusive. I stood at the door, not able to decide whether to interrupt the obvious grieving or to let Ty Lee let out her emotions. At the sound of footsteps approaching, I turned to see Mai coming over to me.

"She'll be alright." Mai said, understanding the situation more than I could.

"Are you sure? It sounds really bad. I've never heard her so…distraught."

"Yeah, it's just really hard on her. Azula was really something to Ty Lee."

"She was something."

"C'mon, let's go outside. You look like you could use the fresh air."

Later, after I had been sitting out in the courtyard with Mai, Ty Lee came out to join us and I saw that her cheeks were still tear-stained.

"Hey you guys," she said, the ghost of her usual pep in her voice. Mai and I muttered our greetings as she took a seat by us on the steps.

I was reminded of the last time I was here, our positions were reminiscent of the morning before Sokka and Suki showed up with that poster for the Ember Island Players performance of _The Boy in the Iceberg_. Looking into the sky, I noticed a cloud that highly reminded me of the kindly sky bison, but the cloud diffused into the blue sky, exposing that it was indeed only a cloud.

**Ursa PoV**

I kneeled down beside my husband, just returning to our old bedroom from refilling the bucket of water that I kept handy by his side. It comforted me to know that Iroh and Zuko had both gone through this, but I still had my worries. It didn't look good at all, from what I could see. I could see the strain that his body was going through. The tension was obvious in his veins and the taught lines of his lips. Occasionally he would turn over in his sleep, grunting about some unseen obstacle. I so wanted to comfort him, but his consciousness was in a world far beyond my reach. The best I could do at the time was stay by his side and do my best to ease the painful metamorphosis, as Zuko had called it. What kind of result could possibly hail from this?

I knew from what Zuko had told me that the process would be worth it, but what would change after it was over? Will this man, so contorted by his strife for power and glory, fully return to the one I loved with all my heart? I could only hope so, but somehow it seemed impossible that such a thing could happen. I have had many dreams of our family reuniting and being the way we were always meant to be, but never have I come so close to reaching such a reality. I just hope it all will not fall apart, back to the ruins that we have just barely begun to piece back together.

_Meanwhile-Meanwhile-Meanwhile_

**Katara PoV**

I couldn't really believe we were actually just doing this, but I guess it did seem like us. See, I remembered that it was Zuko's birthday next week and I was kind of just musing aloud when I said to Aang and Sokka that we should do something about it. So thanks to Appa and Aang's whimsical spirit, we were currently flying to Ember Island, where we had heard that our friend the Firelord had recently gone to. We hadn't seen Zuko in months since he'd been reportedly busy with some diplomatic things to take care of. According to Sokka, A.K.A. the Schedule Master, we would arrive at Ember Island the next afternoon. We had Suki with us, she and Sokka had been nearly inseparable for the past eight months and the best news was that I would soon be Suki's sister in law! That's right; Suki and my brother were going to get married! They hadn't decided on a date yet, but Sokka made her a necklace and everything, I am so excited and happy for them. And if you're wondering, as far as Aang and me, we decided to just be friends for now. I kind of convinced him to wait and see if there was anyone else that he would come to like because honestly I didn't feel comfortable with him believing that he was in love with me when I was basically the first girl that he'd seen after being a monk stranded in an iceberg for a century. But, I don't know, maybe something can happen between us later, I just want to make sure it's really right before it does.

I wondered if Toph would be with Zuko. I knew that she had been around the palace after we had all split up, and I hoped that we would see her. It would really feel like the good old days then. I smiled at the thought. But why was Zuko on Ember Island instead of at the Palace? Was he just taking a light vacation from his Firelord duties? I heard that he and Mai were still together; maybe they were on a vacation there? I hoped our surprise visit wouldn't be rude, but he would want to see us after all this time, right? I sighed, trying to fall asleep under the light of the moon as we flew. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

**Okay I hope you all enjoyed it, tell me what you think. I'm thinking about putting a good Urzai flashback in the next chapter somewhere. That'll be fun. And if I have Kataang fans reading, I'm sorry but I just can't write anything Kataang, but no, I'm not flaming, I mean hey, "If that's what you like" (Katara quote!) By the way, the movie was pretty good if you haven't seen it yet, though I do have quite a few issues with it, it could have been WAY worse. I'm hoping that they'll really expand on it for the Book 2 Movie though. Thanks for reading!**


	17. Happy Birthday Zuko

_**Author's Note! **__I cut this chapter in half because it was getting really long__so I split it into two chapters instead of one. Which I think actually worked out better. I'm pretty proud of how these next two turned out, in my opinion both of them are better than chapter 16, which I didn't like all that much. _

_Side Note: Now that these are uploaded I'm going to write the possibly last chapter of my separate AU humor fic called What Had Happened Was. If you are a fan of Katara, or Zutara I recommend reading it, and as I am an extreme Ozai fangirl I made sure to give him a good part in the short story too, but enough of that, on to the disclaimer._

_Sokka: Can I do it this time?_

_Me: Sure, Sokka, knock yourself out._

_Sokka: Nah, I'd rather not. But anyways here's the disclaimer! Taurus3rokcergirl doesn't own the characters or places or anything in this FANfic!  
They all belong to our creators, Mike__ and Bryan_

_Me: Thanks Sokka!_

_Sokka: Oh, wait, arent' you forgetting something?_

_Me:...probably, what is it now?_

_Sokka: You wanted to address Ursa's title. _

_Me: Oh Yeahhhh. Go ahead Sokka._

_Sokka: Okay, so since Ursa was banished before she became Lady Ursa, she's actually just formerly Princess Ursa, so no one really knows what we should call her. If any readers have an idea of what we should give her as a term of endearment, please let us know! And...if Ozai banished her...are they still married? Just, y'know, food for thought. _

_Me: Yeah, so seriously, I kind of just overlooked the technicalities there and if anyone has a preference for waht we should call her, tell me and I'll probably go back and use it. =) and as for the 'still married' technicalities, by the end of the story that won't matter because I have an idea for that and I'm really looking forward to it. Read and Enjoy! Reviews welcome! _

**Ursa PoV**

The next morning after a night of uneasy sleep, I walked to Zuko's room. I felt like I needed to talk to my son, especially today, of all days. We had been reunited after so long, yet I felt I had barely had a meaningful conversation with him. I was just so concerned with Ozai and the sickness he was going through and taking care of Azula's cremation preparations, in a way I just put Zuko off to the side, and I did not like that at all.

I knocked on the door to his room and listened for a response. There was nothing. "Zuko, may I come in?" I heard footsteps from inside the room and I waited as he opened the door. I walked in as he sat down on his bed, not saying a word. I walked over to his already made up bed and sat beside him, regardless of if he intended me to or not.

"Happy Birthday, Zuko."

I watched as a weary smile broke across his countenance, his eyes wide. "You could not have forgotten that today is your eighteenth birthday, now have you?"

He shook his head, "no," he said, "I remembered, but I- I didn't know if you would."

"Zuko, of course I did. Never, in all our time apart have I gone one year without celebrating your day of birth in whatever way I could."

He seemed so shocked, almost flattered that I remembered to wish him a happy birthday. I sat in silence with him as it seemed to me that there was something on the tip of his tongue that he was struggling to form into words.

"Mom, after you left- I was so, so lost and I felt so alone. I never saw Uncle much at first; it was just Dad and Azula. She tried to kill me so many times even before Dad banished me, and then he tried to kill me too. I remember one year, before I was banished. It was my thirteenth birthday, and Father forgot completely, or he didn't acknowledge it. Mom, I just went to my room and thought about how much I missed you and how I didn't even know if you were somewhere out there alive. "

"Zuko, I was so heartbroken in leaving you, but there was no other way. I thought that by the separation, somehow I would be able to bring our family back together one day, and I still am embarking on that mission. We can do it, the three of us, even without Azula."

"You really believe that? You think when Dad is better, everything will just be, I don't know, perfect?"

"No, but Zuko, there's no such thing as perfect. You should know that, you grew up with your sister. But, I think we can be…happy."

He didn't seem to believe me, but he did not argue the point. About that time, I heard rambunctious yelling and crashing from downstairs. Zuko and I exchanged a glance before simultaneously getting on our feet and scurrying down to the source of the noise. I hoped that there were no burglars or worse coming in to infiltrate the house.

At the base of the stairs I saw a small motley crowd had gathered in the foyer. The young earthbender, Toph, was there holding a bald, arrow-headed boy in a fierce, yet somehow friendly headlock. Mai and Ty Lee were also near the commotion, it appeared as if they had just walked over to the scene from a back room. A somewhat lanky young man with his hair pulled back in a curious way had stumbled over the threshold and was lying face down on the stone flooring, a jittery lemur crawling up his back. There was also a blue eyed young woman standing closer to the door, nervously biting on her lower lip, yet she appeared hopeful in her eyes. Ty Lee had just cart wheeled over to a redheaded newcomer and, yelling something, embraced her enthusiastically. I looked at Zuko who was presently on the step above me and I saw a genuine smile plastered onto his face.

"What are you all doing here?" He asked, going down the stairs two steps at a time.

"Zuko!" A chorus of voices shouted out his name, followed by a "Happy birthday" from his group of friends. The boy previously held in the headlock by Toph was recently freed and he flew atop a swirling ball of air to meet Zuko as he descended the stairs. He, by then I assumed he was the Avatar, diffused his ball of air and flung his arms around Zuko's waist in greeting. At first Zuko stood somewhat shocked, then he hugged the young Avatar back shortly. "Um, Aang, you can let go now."

"Oh, right. Sorry Firelord Zuko, Hotman." Zuko visibly twitched for some reason unbeknownst to me. What did that boy just call him? Hot Man? How kids speak these days…I may never understand.

"Hey, everyone, it's so great to see all of you." Zuko said after being released from Avatar Aang's grasp. The blue eyed girl skipped over the one who had toppled onto the floor and pulled Zuko into a different hug that he returned warmly.

"Mom," Zuko said, pulling away from the embrace, "these are my friends. Everyone, I would like you to meet my mother."

All eyes turned to me as Zuko gestured to where I stood, still on the stairs. I saw shock and bewilderment on most of their faces. Politely, I smiled and waved to them all.

"Hello, I am Lady Ursa. It is a pleasure to meet you."

The young Avatar turned toward me, "You too. I'm Aang," he bowed in the respectful Fire Nation fashion "I'm the Avatar." I returned his bow. Zuko continued with the introductions.

"This is Katara; she's the most incredible waterbender I've ever met." Katara hid a graceful blush at the remark as she bowed in respect.

"It is an honor to meet you, Lady Ursa. I am so glad to see that you and Zuko have reunited."

"And that is Sokka." Zuko waved his hand in the direction of the young man who had recently gotten back on his feet, the lemur on his shoulder. "and Suki." Ty Lee spoke up then claiming that Suki was the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, a group that she had recently joined. Then the one called Sokka stepped up.

"It's really great to meet you and everything M'am, but, um, what are you doing here? I mean, most of us thought you were dead."

"Oh, of course, I apologize for any confusion." Agni, how do I explain this?

"I was banished nearly a decade ago and I spent the time meandering all over the Earth Kingdom, settling in a few areas every now and then. I came back to the Fire Nation once I heard of the end of the war. Upon my arrival, I went to the royal prison, where I freed the former Firelord."

I glanced at the expressions of each of the new faces and they all displayed one emotion; disbelief. The one called Sokka was the first to speak.

"Uh, was that really a good idea? I mean, where is he now? Not here…uh, is he?"

"Yes." I decided to just be forward with them all, Zuko's friends deserved that. "I brought him here where I had hopes of resuming a somewhat normal life, of course after a few obstacles. One of which was our daughter's arrival and suicide after a flurry of events that currently have Ozai in a sickness induced coma." The disbelief, concern, and horror, dropped each of their jaws further. Was it really that hard of a notion to conceive? Well, I guess it is true that these teenagers knew the brunt of all the evil that Ozai was leading during the time of war. If I were them I would surely feel the same way. However, I was not seeing from their point of view, I knew a deeper truth, a different branch of Ozai's legacy.

Now it was the girl, Katara's turn to speak up.

"Azula-what happened with her?"

"Zuko, why don't you and Mai and Ty Lee fill everyone in? I should go and check on your father. Also, I'll go and set up some extra futons in a few of the spare rooms for everyone." Zuko said a thank you to me before becoming preoccupied with the flock of his newcomer friends.


	18. Two Odd Encounters

**Author's Note**: As I said, here is the original second part of chapter 17, which I decided to make chapter 18! I still don't own the A:TLA characters or places or anything. I hope you like it, read and review! Thanks for reading! =)

**Ursa PoV**

I had excused myself from everyone and set up some extra bedding in the guestrooms before I went up the stairs to the bedroom that Ozai and I shared. I shut the door softly behind me before walking over to my ill husband and sitting beside him. He was sleeping, as I predicted, but I began to talk to him nevertheless.

"We have some guests today, my love. I do not expect to let them in here, as I assume that you would not like it if Zuko's friends saw you this way. You know today is his birthday." I continued my small talk, hoping that Ozai could hear me, if only a little, just so he would know of my constant presence by his side.

"Tonight is when we are going to cremate our daughter. I wish you could be at the ceremony, but I presume it is just as well this way. I know how difficult it was for you to cross her for me and for Zuko, but it gives me so much hope for our future. When Azula arrived here, it terrified me. I thought that she would turn you away from Zuko and me for good with her empty promise of the return to power, but you proved my worries to be in vain and I am so glad for that. It is because of the encounter with her that I am able to say that I trust you now for the first time in many years."

I rested a hand on his chest, his formerly feverish body temperature was currently slightly under that of any human being and that worried me. "I am sorry to say that I did not allow myself to fully trust you even when we left the prison at the palace, or when we arrived here, or even later when Zuko followed us and arrived. But I do now, and this trust is something that we must rely on in the future, when you come out of this sickness." I took his weakened hand in mine again and felt for his pulse, it was there, but very subtle. "Ozai my love, please, make it through this…this change," I whispered, leaning down and resting my head on his chest.

Within a few silent moments, the tense tranquility was interrupted by a timid series of knocks at the door. I sat up and regained my composure before calling a "come in" to the knocker.

Zuko entered with one of his friends alongside him. I recognized her as the waterbender, Katara, I believe, was her name.

"Hello you two, what is it?" I asked.

"Mom, Katara is a waterbender with healing powers. Once she brought the Avatar back to life, and then she also saved my life with her healing. I thought maybe she could, I don't know, help…him," Zuko gestured to Ozai, poorly hidden contempt on his face. Katara stepped up bashfully.

"I would like to try and help him, I don't know how much good it would do, but, I want to at least try to be useful. I know it's hard to see someone you love in such a terrible condition." It was easy to see that for one so young, Katara had lived through much. She spoke with a deep understanding and it was apparent that she had a strong caring nature to want to help Ozai who had, from her perspective been nothing but a monster, and myself, who she was barely acquainted with. I nodded, accepting her wish to help.

"Thank you. Is there anything that you need for healing?"

"My bending water, but I have that with me."

"Well then, there you are." I stepped aside to stand by Zuko as we watched in waiting to see what the waterbender's healing could do. She walked over to the bed where he lay and I noticed a dutiful compassion in her eyes clouded over with something that was not disgust or fear as I expected, but an apparent pity.

She gloved her hands in the water and on contact it began to glow as her healing powers began to radiate from her hands. She exhaled deeply, seemingly to center herself in preparation for healing before lightly pressing her hands over Ozai's heart. Meticulously she examined his body and her gaze landed on the burns he had obtained from Azula's final flames. She slowly moved her hands toward his burnt arms and she let them hover over the burns for a second in which she hesitated. Next to me, Zuko stepped forward impulsively.

"Don't do it Katara," he said with an imploring coldness in his voice. I saw Katara bite back on her bottom lip, not sure of what to do.

"You really don't want me to fix those?" She asked of Zuko.

"No. Those burns are nothing compared to what he deserves." Zuko's disdain for his father was currently unsheathed and I saw that he had more suppressed hatred for him than I had even anticipated. I put my hand on his shoulder, lightly pulling him back.

"Zuko," I called beseechingly, "please, calm down." He hesitated before unclenching his tense fists.

"Fine," he crossed his arms angrily, letting Katara handle the situation as she saw fit.

"You don't have to worry about me healing these, Zuko," Katara said after a moment, "they won't heal at all. It's like the burns have already scarred."

"Already," I said, "should it not take longer to scar than just a few days?"

"That's what I thought," Katara replied, "but I don't know, these are different. Zuko told me about what happened. Maybe it's because Azula's fire is so hot?"

That could be, but there was no sure way to find out now. 

**Ozai PoV**

Though I was still trapped in my comatose state, I was vaguely able to sense some aspects of the reality around me as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

I heard the door shut behind light footsteps on the hardwood flooring before hearing the gentle murmurs of Ursa's voice. Though I could not comprehend all of her words, there were a few that I heard through the haze barricading my mind.

"We have some guests today, my love. I do not expect to let them in here, as I assume that you would not like it if Zuko's friends…"

What is she talking about? Guests…who would come here? Did she say Zuko's friends? Does that mean the Avatar is here in my home? No, it could not be, even that insolent boy would not have the nerve to come here. I listened to her voice as she spoke on about other things. It was almost medicinal to hear her speak so compassionately of what she believed of us.

Her words lulled me into a realm of peaceful darkness. I had almost drifted completely out of consciousness once more when yet again I heard the seasoned creak of the door and a different set of footsteps enter. I assumed it was Zuko until I heard Ursa say something that seemed odd. "You two," she said, where there two people then? Possibly It was the rotten little earthbender girl. I heard Zuko begin to speak and his words made me significantly more alert. His peasant waterbender friend was here? And she was going to _heal_ me? I think not. How could Ursa be so tolerating of them? A third voice entered the scene, a female voice that I did not recognize, that must be the alleged healer.

I lost nearly all connection to the world an instant after I heard the new voice. I knew that she must still be talking but I lost my sense of hearing along with all the rest to the dark abyss that was my subconscious. The reality that I knew was occurring around me was soon replaced with deranged visions of a substitute reality and it mattered not that they were mere visions and mental fabrications.

I was surrounded by fire, the flames did not burn me as I expected them too, yet neither were they under my control. It was as if another bender was lurking in the dark corners of my mind, one I could not see or know. In my peripheral I saw something soar across the dark background. It was an animal of some sort, however when I turned to look it had disappeared completely. The ground on which I stood fell out from under me and I felt the fear of falling rise within me. I waited for the landing impact, hoping it would be over with a quick sudden collision. The thud of meeting some new grounds never came, I then felt a change in my perceived direction and instead of the sensation falling; I felt as if I was flying upward, above the highest mountain. I looked down to see that there was something under me. It was as if this great thing that I could not fully see or comprehend was carrying me upward to some unknown destination. Just as I began to see what it was that I was on and make sense of the small glimpse I was given, the thing hurled me forward and I landed on my knees in a different place altogether. This new scene was still partially dark, but not nearly as empty as the previous vision. It took a moment before the vastness of the place could sink in. Apparently it was a moment I did not yet have. As soon as the image formed, it fell away, dissolving backward into my mind. Something had pulled me out of my delving thoughts, I realized as I felt some of my senses return to me, reattaching my chain to the physical world.

I could once again see and feel as I should, yet my other senses were still temporarily defective. I felt an odd sensation spreading over my torso. The sensation lessened just before I heard Zuko's voice demanding something, and even I could feel the tension around me. Vaguely I knew that the healer girl was standing over me, hesitant about something. I then felt that strange sensation start to form on my arm where I remembered being burned by my daughter's fire. However, unlike before, it felt as if there was a wall up to prevent the spread of the feeling. It was as if my chi was blocked there so that what I assumed was an attempt at healing was ineffective. Then the feeling vanished altogether and I was taken back down to that place formed within my mind.

It was as if I had never been pulled away from the area and I was finally able to observe the peculiar scene. I was kneeling on an ebony tinted floor that was to an extent translucent. Underneath the massive tiles I could see mysterious swirling colors that were hues of reds and gold and other colors that I had never even imagined. I looked up to see that far back into the room, if that was indeed what this place was, there stood something that resembled an immense golden stairwell. I stood to go over to the enormous structure and though it seemed miles away, I glided there in an unrealistic passing of time. At the bottom of the golden stair were two stone statues. One was slim and looked rather shady as he knelt by the other figure. The second figure wore a headdress that could signify him as some kind of chief and he was rather rotund. I recognized their way of dress from old legends of the ancient people. It was fascinating; I reached out to touch the stone detailing of the one who seemed to be the superior. Just as my fingers brushed against the stone, striking colors replaced the previous grey and the kneeling figure followed suit. Within seconds the two statues had become alive. I stepped back from the two, unsure of their nature.

"Ozai of the Fire Nation," the one seeming to be a chief spoke up in a rumbling voice that echoed throughout the space, "We are Sun Warriors.


	19. Black Dream Hole

**Author's Note!**

**Me: Who's gonna say the disclaimer this time?**

***Momo raises arm***

**Me: Umm, Momo, that might be difficult for some readers to understand, y'know, since you don't speak our language…**

***Momo takes a bite of peach and my brother runs by and steals the juicy little fruit from him. Momo then chases said brother and the others look after them in curiosity.***

**Me: Nicholas, don't steal from Lemurs! Oh, forget it. Let's get someone new, what about someone from my new favorite anime, Bleach. Urahara, would you please say my disclaimer for me, sir?**

**Kisuke Urahara: Why of course I would! Taurus3rockergirl does not own anything from Avatar: The Last Airbender, all those rights belong to Mike and Bryan and Nickelodeon. She also doesn't own any of us from Bleach, those rights go to Tite Kubo. Bye you guys, see ya around…well, maybe some other fic. Oh and by the way, make sure to review/ comment. Later.**

**Me: Thanks Urahara! And just so you know, that insert with Momo and my bro was something he asked me to put in somewhere.**

**Ozai PoV**

"We are Sun Warriors," he said. What is this, the Sun Warriors? I vaguely remembered learning legends about the supposedly extinct people in my younger years. I knew of their culture, and though their ancient ways impressed me, I had never given them that much thought before. I went to ask them what they were doing here, in my head, but no words formed when I began to speak. I could hear my thoughts, yet it seemed I was rendered incapable of speaking. This was so surreal, I thought, remembering that this was some kind of dream.

"Why are we here, you ask?" The chief began, speaking with no problem at all, though it was difficult to tell if his mouth was moving or if I was merely able to hear his thoughts. "I assumed that it would be obvious, Ozai, Former Firelord and Self-Proclaimed Phoenix King." The chief spoke in a snide manner that could have been intimidating, but he was not going to press fear into my heart so easily.

_The reasons that you are here are not as obvious as you seem to think. Reveal your purpose._

I thought my words to him, realizing that was the way to communicate in the…place. The slim, shady looking Sun Warrior then spoke up in an oily voice.

_Why should we tell you? If you can't figure it out, that's your problem, not ours. _

I glared at him, taking an instant dislike to his imprudence.

_This is my dream, is it not? You will tell me what I demand to know. _I chided back, hoping for answers.

_Dream? Fool, this is hardly a dream- _The first Warrior cut off his insolent companion then.

_Quiet, Ham Ghao, _he snapped_, those who speak of what they know, find too late that silence is wise. Keep that in the front of your mind. _

He then turned to me. _We cannot tell you all that we know, just what we must divulge to complete the mission. The first thing you can know is that we are here because the Masters sent us. Well, the masters sent me; this one was allowed to tag along. _That part he said under his breath, receiving a glare from his companion. _We cannot tell you many details of why he has sent us to you; that would spoil the visit for sure, naturally, there are some things we will have to tell you. _

_And what would those things be? _I asked, becoming disgruntled by the two.

_Be patient, Ozai. We cannot stay for long, and you will learn all by the time we leave. _

_Then I suppose you should hurry on carrying out this mission of yours. First, tell me who the masters that you mentioned are. _

_No! _The rotund one shouted. _That is one of the things that we cannot tell you! _I backed away from his excitement, convinced that if I stood too close to the explosive man that I would eventually have his spit land upon me. _Now, no more silly questions, we must commence with our purpose. _

I sighed through my nose, about time. I wondered if there was anything that could come of this or if the odd appearance of these men would be a complete waste of my time, conscious or not. My sour thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the chief abruptly pulled a golden egg-shaped orb from thin air. He muttered something in a different language to the mysterious sphere he held which then emitted a gaudy white light, slowly expanding to fill the room-like space. I was soon blinded completely, fearing these men and what was to come when and if the light vanished. What was the purpose of this?

When the light finally faded, I was again with the two Sun Warriors, unharmed. _Where have you brought me? What is that thing? _I inquired about my whereabouts and the curious egg the man had used; unsettled by the lack of explanations they were giving me.

The chief sighed heavily as his comrade rolled his eyes impatiently.

_So many questions. This is an ancient artifact that only I and the great masters have access to touch. And as for where you are, look around. I expect that you will recognize the place soon. _

Recognize this place? Before I had time to wonder what he meant, the scene shifted and I saw that the three of us were standing by a familiar tree in the palace courtyard. I began to ask how we had gotten to the Fire Nation palace when I saw something that deemed me speechless. I saw my younger self, Prince Ozai, practicing a fire bending form in the courtyard, seemingly alone.

_How am I here? _I asked before realizing that it was just another inquiry I would be reprimanded for.

_Quiet. Just watch, you will soon enough recognize this memory. _

So this is a memory. I refrained from asking how they got into my old memories, especially these that I had not thought back upon in so very long. However, I did as they said and watched the scene unfold.

_To Be Continued..._

**A.N: I know it's kind of a slow chapter, but I had to upload something, band camp has had me so busy. But it's about to slow down some and I should have the next chapter up a lot sooner than this one came up. Thanks for reading! I love you!**


	20. Calm Before the Storm

**A.N. This is my last update before school starts! But don't worry, you have not heard the last of me! The Board of Education will not vanquish my creative juices! I do not own the characters, they belong to Bryke. Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Ozai PoV**

Out of curiosity I did as the man said and watched my teenage self, I assumed I was about fifteen, trying to recall the memory.

I was in the middle of a complex firebending form, a block here, an axe kick there. Slide two steps forward, outside block. Cat stance. Two consecutive fire fists. A roundhouse. The grass just avoided being singed. Somehow I never did burn such elements of nature unintentionally. I had better control than that. Unlike my acquaintance, Zhao, who was a careless and egotistic firebender who I never let train with me in my favorite area, there by the magnificent tree and the pond filled with koi fish and turtleducks.

I could see how engrossed I was in my training. Of course I was. Every time I went alone to this courtyard, this was exactly what I did. I would train here for as long as I possibly could, perfecting my firebending more and more, one kata at a time. I went to carry out the next step in the form when my foot collided with a particularly annoying overgrown root that had been a nuisance to the grounds since long before I was born.

Then I realized why it was so difficult for me to recognize this memory. I fell over the root, landing on my back with a thud into the grass. I surely would have blocked out such an embarrassment. Why were the Sun Warriors showing me this? I continued to watch. Just after I fell, I heard the sound of slightly suppressed laughter coming from behind a pillar by the patio. I hurriedly got to my feet and leaned against the forsaken tree to pass off the humiliating moment.

"Who is that there?" I asked in a demanding voice, wondering who could be so bold as to laugh at me, the prince of the Fire Nation.

Immediately, the laughter ceased and a girl stepped out from behind her hiding spot. I recognized her as the daughter of one of my father's correspondents. I had met him along with his daughter a couple of times before and I would exchange an occasional polite hello to the girl, Ursa, I believed was her name.

"I apologize for laughing Prince Ozai," she said in a sweet voice. I gave her a curt nod and I was on the verge of formally accepting her apology when she continued to giggle behind her hand. I narrowed my eyes at her and gave her my best death glare that I had perfected on many nameless insignificant peers. She saw my eyes and her laughter ceased again yet instead of looking away as most would do, she stared back at me, her own gaze just as unmoving as mine. I mentally commended her for her spirit, and I reminded myself that she was of noble blood as well, even if she was not actually royalty.

"What are you doing out here in the first place?"

Ursa looked me in the eye, "I intended to come out here and practice my firebending while my father is attending a war meeting in the palace. I saw you and decided to not disturb you since you seemed to be concentrating on your own training."

"So you are also a bender then?" I recall being very surprised to learn that Ursa was a firebender. It never occurred to me that such a young lady would be able to accomplish such a task, a lifestyle. I would soon see how wrong I had been with my impression of her, the fourteen year old bender with the sharp wit and agglomeration of diverse and likeable traits. I asked her to spar with me there in the garden, for I was curious to see what she could do.

"Spar with you? Of course, it would be an honor."

As the two of us stood a couple of yards away, I thought of ways to defeat her without causing her harm. Within seconds I had reached many possible conclusions. The mock battle began and we advanced on each other.

**Ursa PoV**

I awoke in the middle of the night after a vivid dream about a sparring match that happened long ago between Ozai and I. It was one of the first times I interacted with the teenage prince except for a few encounters and some short words. I loved those memories of mine, getting to know the Fire Nation prince held such great times. I wonder if Ozai ever looked back on those blessed memories. No, I imagine not. Not for a while anyway. I wonder if that would change soon...maybe it will when he comes out of this sickness, if he does.

I ignited a small light in my palm so I could see to check on Ozai. I kneeled down beside him, immediately seeing beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Tenderly I touched his hand and felt a portion of the fiery warmth that had left him with his bending. I sent a silent prayer up to the heavens. His fever was a dangerously high temperature and he looked more ill than he had been yet.

"Stay with me, Ozai." I whispered, "Please be alright." I gripped his hand and resolved to sit beside him and wait for the sun to rise.

**Ozai PoV**

She was quick. A more worthy opponent than I expected. Her agility and resourcefulness had kept her on her feet and out of my reach. I sent a fire fist her way and she blocked it with a powerful but controlled wall of fire. I took a quick step toward her to close the distance between us and she moved backward, slightly to the left. Her eyes lit up with an intense fire only seen in passionate and powerful benders. Did she not realize she was backing right into a corner? I held back my grin to not give away her mistake as she took another step back. I took another forward. Mentally I prepared my next move. I would grab her wrist and pull her forward, pushing on her heel with my foot to make her collapse. It always worked with Zhao and others that I would train or fight with, as long as I timed it right and executed it correctly. I backed her further into the corner and reached out in a swift, fluid movement. Before I could finish the take-down, Ursa leapt up and used the stone wall to push herself with her foot. She used the momentum to jump over my head and landed behind me in a crouching position. She stood up within an instant and once she was standing, the fourteen year old noble pulled a dagger from out of her robes and held it not an inch from my chest. I was the one who was cornered now. I cursed myself for being so arrogant that I had not predicted such a turn of events, but who could have possibly predicted the nobleman's daughter would have had a freaking knife on her?

"Do you surrender, Prince Ozai? Looks like I win this time." She declared, holding her head up high. I raised my arms in a gesture of surrender, I would lose with honor, not some underhanded trick to beat her.

"This time?" I asked, confused by her words. She gave me a puzzled look.

"Yes, this time. You will be wanting a rematch, won't you?" For once not knowing what to say, I nodded and she lowered her dagger.

"Oh, and Prince Ozai," She said in a questioning voice, "please could you not let anyone know about what just happened? You see, I have been learning how to wield daggers and swordsmanship in private, and no one is really supposed to know about it. So it's our secret now."

I understood that she was not asking me to keep her little secret. She was telling me and I was not dumb enough to disobey the girl's request. Besides I was not to keen on letting it be known that I lost in a match to a girl who pulled a knife out of who knows where. Again I nodded. She smiled briefly.

She gave me a small bow before turning to leave, but for some reason I called her back.

"Ursa."

She turned, "Yes?"

"I do not wish for you to bow to me. We are equals at best. You had just proven that by your clever victory."

A light smile crept across her face.

"So does that mean I can call you Ozai now, no title needed?" I thought for a second before answering with a yes.

She nodded with a delicate smile. "Try and train harder, maybe you can win next time." she taunted as she walked off.

The image faded and I was shifting through a tunnel of cosmic energy with the Sun Warriors. It appeared as if parts of my life were fast forwarding around us until we arrived at the next memory they wanted me to see. Why were they doing this, I wondered to myself. The Chief asked me what I thought about seeing that as we pressed on through space and time. I told him I tried to forget about that particular memory, yet it was somehow nice to revisit those simple times.

I noticed the racing images slow and suddenly I saw my younger self again, this time a few years older. It appeared as if the sun had just set and I was walking with Ursa around the serene palace ground hills. This was a memory from the time I was courting the girl who had become a lovely young woman, proper and elegant as she should be, yet still able to defend herself and hold her own against any sort of danger that would be dim witted enough to confront her. I could see the moon rising in the distance behind the two of us as we walked hand in hand, letting the nation's troubles leave us- they were our parent's problems to deal with anyway, not ours. Not yet.

I could feel a tension in the air. It was not the sort of tension that comes with stress from pressing issues that normally overwhelm royals, for I did not know that sort of stress yet, not fully anyway. It was much more like the tension that fills the calm before the storm. It felt reminiscent of the silence before a moment of truth or a final battle. I could not understand why I felt such a thing radiating from this memory, it seemed peaceful enough. So again, I stood and watched. I could hear sounds of quiet conversation from where we walked, and then the conversation ended. I saw myself stop walking and I stood for a moment taking Ursa's hands in mine. The scene was romantic enough for a fairytale and suddenly I remembered the rest of this memory. I looked on fondly to watch it unfold.

I took Ursa's soft hands in mine and I moved a slight step closer to her. I looked down into her fire-filled eyes as she looked up into my own topaz irises. A hesitant, tell tale smile crept onto her countenance and I knew there was no backing out now. With a hand on the small of her back, I pulled her closer to me. A moment later, my lips met hers in our first kiss. She was so perfect. That was the moment that I decided to marry Ursa. She would be mine and nothing would get in the way of that. Finally we parted and I looked at her to study her expression. She was blushing, only a slight rosy tint to her pale cheeks, but it was there. She is so beautiful, I thought, no, I knew. She raised herself onto her toes and we engaged in another kiss, just as full as and even more passionate than the first.

"I love you." I looked at her after our kiss ended and I smiled. We said those words simultaneously, and they were true.


	21. When a Tornado Meets a Volcano

**Katara PoV**

The waves crashed on the rocks around me as I waded in the ocean water. Though our little group were no longer fugitives with wanted posters and angry jerks trying to kill us around every corner, I still watched the Avatar, the Firelord, and the rest of my friends closely, almost as if a new threat were to fabricate out of the surf and attempt to take our lives right there. Old habits die hard, right? I would never get over my protective instincts toward all of my friends. That might have been part of why it was so easy for me to notice when something heavy was resting on one of their soldiers as I did then with Zuko. I walked over to where he sat on one of the jagged rocks, hoping to comfort him. It was a bit refreshing to see him without someone else by his side, like Mai or Ty Lee, or even his mother, though I had become exceedingly fond of her in the time I've gotten to know her. It just seemed to me that Zuko was so…at home here that he never really had the chance to talk to any of us. I was starting to feel like we were unwelcome and should be leaving soon, and I expected to do so. But for the time being, I was going to make the best of my time here with my friend, the Firelord.

I sat on a rock near him and he looked at me, a faraway look in his eyes, like he'd been seriously thinking about, well, everything.

"Hey," I started, "…is everything okay?" He turned toward me before looking back off into the horizon again.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "it's just…weird. To be here, I mean. And" he sighed, "yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing."

I didn't press it, but I didn't really believe him. Of course it was weird. I knew it must have been hard for him to be at this place with his mom's sudden reappearance and all that had happened with his family recently, but I wondered what the major issue was with him. There was some big point I was missing. I sighed, figuring it probably wasn't my business anyway. Who was I to care? Who was I to be confided in?

We sat without speaking for a while, listening to the soothing tumbles of the waves, the cawing of the seabirds, the gang swimming and sun tanning.

"It's me, I don't know what to think…er feel, about it all." Zuko said suddenly, startling me with his unannounced statement. "My father, I don't think I want him to make it. He needs to die and I don't understand why she doesn't get that."

Zuko looked at me then, pleading in his eyes, he was being torn apart by his need for answers. " Am I…bad for seeing it that way? I don't know who's wrong. Him, or me, or her… I feel like I'm wrong for feeling the way I do, but at the same time I don't want to change my mind. I just don't know." I nodded.

**Ozai PoV**

I had been pulled through another tunnel of cosmic energy, back to view another memory. I wondered vaguely what the point of all this was and I was curious to see what memories I had yet to see. Suddenly the three of us came to a halt at another point in time. This time we were inside the Fire Nation Palace in a room I recognized as my bedroom. Ursa and I were standing near the foot of the perfectly made up bed and I could feel the heat of our words clouding the air before I heard a word of what we were saying. We both spoke in harsh, controlled whispers, giving the impression that if we were heard our conversation would cost our lives.

"Ozai, it's the only way. I will not stand for the alternative." I saw myself glaring down at my defiant wife, a look of deadly determination plastered on her countenance. Even in my anger, I knew how difficult she was to cross. That did not mean I would not try. I spoke through my teeth, my lips barely moving.

"You do not know what you are doing. Why spare him over you? Do you truly think his life is that much more important than yours?"

She leveled her gaze. "Yes." My brow furrowed as my face contorted in frustration and rage.

"How? How could you say that," I snarled, demanding answers. Why would she value the meek life of a child over her own life that has already come through so much? Why would she give up everything she has ever had?

"Because I have understood my place in this world; Zuko still has to grow into the person he will become. I thought I would not need to mention this- he is your heir; your first born son. To kill him now would destroy your chances at taking the throne from your brother. If we go through with my plan, his life will be spared; I will be banished, as is the custom for the treason I will commit. Is that not enough for you?" Her voice had rose as she spoke, stating her facts, her argument. Who is she? Why was she talking like this? The impertinence of it all, the whole diabolical plan she had formulated, all of it was to spare her son. I could not understand.

We stood in silence for a long agonizing moment as she waited for me to give my last word. "As you wish," I said coldly, giving in to her proposal. "The preparations are complete then?" Ursa let me see a small vial that she pulled out of her sleeve and she nodded solemnly. If she already had the poison on hand, did she mean to go through with her plan if I had not agreed? Of course she did. I nodded solemnly. "Then it must be done tonight." She mirrored my nod and walked away.

The image faded away and I was bombarded by a flurry of lost emotions. Anger, loss, hatred, pain, they came now to make up for my lack of feeling at the time of the event. My reverie was lost in a spin of black space as we tunneled to the next scene, and secretly I dreaded what was to come. Soon I stood again on the royal grounds and I saw myself looking into the courtyard pond, where the turtleducks loved to swim. I recalled that I had been standing there in that fashion since I had returned from escorting Her away. I was reflecting on the menagerie of events that snowballed up until that point. She was gone. I could not give in to any of the emotions that threatened to consume me at that time. I stared into the stagnant water, letting a controlled numbness wash over my heart. She was gone. I saw a young Zuko run up behind my statuesque form. I could see now the tears swelling over in his eyes, his clenched fists, his hurt and despair at his new revelation. I knew that he knew she was gone. "Where is she?" "Where's Mom?" I did not look at him. Why did she want it like this?

That image also faded to black. Why were the Sun Warriors showing me these memories? First they had been from long gone happier times. They had shown me memories of simple days, when I was getting to know her. Suddenly they jumped up to the dark days. For what? Would I ever understand their motives? Did they mean for me to know? All I could do was hang over their volcano until they let me out of their omnipotent grips.


	22. The Call of Ambition

**Ursa POV**

I felt the soothing warmth of dinner radiate from my ancient pot. I was rather enjoying how busy the big house had been lately with all of my son's comrades visiting. After all, it was not so long ago that I lead a lonely, reclusive life in a rural Earth Kingdom savanna. I have gotten to know most of the young adults relatively well in the short while I have been acquainted with them and I have immensely enjoyed hearing of their ventures about their destinies colliding while they worked together to end the hundred year war.

It seems like Ozai has been out of it for an eternity now. I think that I subconsciously wanted to make this small feast of mine due to a chance that he would be waking soon enough to partake. It could not be long now, I figured.

"Mai, darling, would you pass me that spoon please? The wooden one. Yes, thank you." Mai had been assisting me by chopping vegetables, holding light conversation with me as we worked.

"Lady Ursa, I cut them all," she informed me.

"Wonderful," I slid them into the pot and asked her if she and Ty Lee would go spread the word to the rest of the group that dinner would be ready soon. She nodded and walked off to complete the task.

****

Ozai PoV

"Firelord Ozai," the booming voice of The Chief echoed around a viewless darkness of my mind.

"That is no longer my title, you know this," I thought to him.

"Indeed, but what if it was? There is no pretense that can say you do not miss it. Would it be a lie to say you do not wish it was again your title?"

"What are you getting at, Chief? Of course I regret losing it, but it is not possible to regain."

"Not possible? Are you sure?"

I said nothing, waiting for The Chief to explain further. "What's holding you back?" He asked. Now it was he who waited, leaving me to think on his prompt.

What is holding me back?

__

I have been expunged from the position.  
Ursa, Zuko ,Iroh, The People, The Avatar

_All of those are factors that stand in my way, for one reason or another._

The chief spoke again.

"Iroh is very old. He will not be around to stop you for much longer. As for Zuko, his popularity will diminish with time. And your wife, would she not be made happy with such a position? Remember, she never did get to be the Fire Lady. All women with noble blood, as she has, are lured by such power. They are drawn to it."

I opened my mind to The Chief's words. Admittedly, he had some valid points in his claims. However…

"What of the Avatar? I still cannot bend as he is only maturing and gaining control of his affinities."

"There are ways, Ozai. I am only saying that there are ways for you to have everything you once had…and more. the final decision is up to you. What will you choose? Firelord Ozai, do you want the life of a has-been emperor of the strongest nation in the world, all valiance stripped from him? Or do you want the life of fortune you can scarcely imagine?"

The last echo resonated in the darkness and I felt a distinct loneliness replace it. Not a forlorn loneliness as much as one that is as it should be inside one's own head. At long last, it seemed as if I had control over my conscious thoughts again. Though the presence of the Sun Warriors had gone, they left behind a flurry of troubling questions. The Chief's words still reverberated in my mind.  
_  
There are ways_

What did he mean by saying that? Was there a bigger picture that I had not yet gained insight of? Does Ursa have a secret longing to become the Fire Lady? Agni! I must decide what I am to do. Never in my life have I ever been so dreadfully unsure. My head throbbed as I sat up on the bed. I wondered how long it had been since I stood up. Too long, I concluded as my knees buckled under me. I heaved a heavy sigh, repulsed by such weakness. Silently I left the room and made my way outside. I needed some air. Some time to think on all I have heard and seen via the Sun Warriors.


	23. A New Destiny

**URSA POV**

It was about an hour before dawn when I woke and went to go check on Ozai. I could feel some sense of suspense in the air. I knew that something had changed before I entered the room. My heart beat began to race as I felt a lump of lead drop into my stomach. I saw my suspicions confirmed when Ozai was not in his bed. I hastily padded down the hallway, making as little noise as possible while trying to be as fast as could be. Where could he have gone? What if he had taken to sleep walking? If not, why had he left? I hoped against the worry that had sunk into my heart that he was alright at the present in health and in mind. I scurried down the front steps and perused the sand for any footprints or traces of him leaving that way. It was still just too dark outside for me to effectively see any tell tale landmark. I ignited a small flame in my palm and held it out in front of me as I scrutinized the area, feeling a concerned adrenaline seeping through my blood. Yes, I felt a surge of victory as I saw what seemed to be what I was looking for. Judging by the somewhat aged footprints, it had been at least a couple of hours since he had first departed. Keeping my flame steady, I followed the trail.

Throughout the time he had been in his state of sickness, I was talking to Zuko about what it was like for him. Zuko told me that coming out of the sickness was a step in the right direction, but not one so big that it was not easily backtracked by another of his actions. When he spoke that much, he would always have this reserved look and turn away from me. I did not press it, imagining that whatever he did to "backtrack" was something he still held shame for.

I feared that it was possible that Ozai's reaction to the sickness may be the opposite of Zuko's. Zuko had always been a good spirited person with a pure heart, as was Iroh. It seemed Ozai had some greater darkness in him than his brother and his son, and I worried that he would come out of it with a terrible new desire to take revenge on those who did him wrong.

I always had a natural adeptness for tracking, but sand is a tricky thing. The path began to snake up a dune and I followed it closely. Finally, I arrived at the top of the mountain of sand. A heavy weight lifted from my shoulders as I saw him standing there on the opposite side of the plateau. His back was to me and he faced east, where the sun would soon be rising. However, the weight that was just lifted from me was replaced with another when I took a second glance. I could tell in the way he stood that he was contemplating some heavy burden of his own. I hesitated at first, and then made my way towards him, one quiet step at a time.

"I thought you would come," he said, still facing away from me. I was going to ask if he would rather be alone but he then spoke again. "I was just wishing to see you."

He then turned, meeting my gaze. I saw a deep intensity in his golden glare. There was a distinct light in his eyes. Something that had recently been lacking. I wondered what it was that fueled the fire.

"My sickness included many strange dreams. Those dreams lead me to contemplate what I can do with the rest of this life. The spirits of the ancient people of the Sun Warriors came to me and left me with so many options to consider, more than I imagined I had. One of the futures they presented me with included taking back the power I once had. Ursa, I could make you a queen."

I started to worry. Skeptically, I wondered how exactly he thought he could accomplish such a thing. What if the spark I saw in his eyes was a dangerous renewed ambition. I held back the feeling that everything was going to fall apart and patiently, I listened.

"There is no doubt in my mind that gaining that position and that power is a possible feat. However, I have even less doubt that the destiny I must now pursue is a larger goal with even tougher obstacles. "

I bit down on my lip, feeling uneasy about what he spoke of. Everything that I had done since arriving at the palace prison was on the line now. This is what it had all come down to. Was he going to throw it all away? I looked on in anticipation, cautious of what he would do.

Keeping his eyes on my own, a look of sober intensity overcame him. He then slowly, deliberately, knelt down on the ground and took my hands in his.

"Ursa, my love, I never wish to part from you again. I want nothing more than your love. We can renew the vows we made to each other, an eternity ago. Let us revive our union, start anew, if you will. Ursa, will you marry me?"

Overwhelmed with emotion, I nodded.

"Yes," I choked out, holding back a stray tear of relief and happiness. Renewing our wedding vows, why had I not thought of that? Ozai elegantly kissed my hand. He stood and a genuine smile spread across his visage. The two of us walked back to the house hand in hand, reminiscing about the old days and verbalizing dreams of what would come.


End file.
